I’m out to dinner with my husband. The kids in the care of their grandparents and happily taken care of. It’s a date night and I have a moment to relax.
Things are going well and I’m proud of myself for agreeing to leave them behind for a few hours. Maybe I should do this more often!
And then your baby cries.
A signal is sent to my Mommy Brain to react. Go. Feed. Soothe. Comfort. I’m half way out of my seat before I even realize that my kids aren’t there. I forget for a moment that they are miles away and the cries I’m hearing aren’t from them.
Now I’m in mommy mode. My stomach is i knots and I want to come help you – scoop up your baby and shoosh it. Clearly that’s a horrible idea but it’s my bodies innate reaction: GO TO THE BABY.
I can’t concentrate on anything my husband is saying now and I’m feeling a noticeable twitch every time it makes a sound. I just want it to stop. One of us needs to leave.
Now that I’ve developed an obvious tick, I’m not hungry anymore and all I want to do is go home and get my kids. Is my baby crying, too? Are they asking for me? Why did I ever agree to this??
Our bodies are so smart (or perhaps stupid?) that we even start to produce milk if we’re breastfeeding! Milk let-down triggers oxytocin to release and now you want to be nowhere else but with your baby.
It’s OK – I’m not upset with you for your infants wails, nor do I think you should leave (even though I really want you too). I bring my kids places, too, and sometimes they cry. I’m definitely not going to roll my eyes at you for bringing your baby to a restaurant – it’s not your responsibility to keep my nervous tick in check.
It isn’t just real-life babies, I even get the same physical reaction to babies on television. Or sometimes animals that sound like babies.
These mommy instincts are no joke, you guys.
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Liz is a just a mom trying to keep it real about how little she sleeps, how often she gets puked on and how much she loves them. You can find her here every day writing about real-mom moments.
Susan D Crochet Addict UK says
You are not the only one. I’m not a baby person but the min. I hear a baby cry I think oh that baby needs feeding and want to get up and take over. It’s weird I always felt out of my depth when my son was a baby but now I just hear a cry and can usually tell what’s up.
Caitlin says
I think what bothers me the most when I hear a baby crying is watching parents do NOTHING about it. I went out for Hibachi on Sunday and a couple had brought their 5 (ish) year old and toddler. Both children were TERRIFIED of everything that happened and were screaming and crying the entire hour and a half that I was there. The parents – they sat and enjoyed cocktails and each other. I felt so bad for the little kids who had no clue why there was a man setting things on fire. And they had no one to comfort them, or even take them outside for a walk to calm down. I think everyone in the restaurant was pissed.
Holly Homer says
My husband and I were discussing the stages that parents go through when it comes to empathy for other parents in that situation. When you have babies/toddlers, you simply feel bad for the other parents. When you have preschoolers, you don’t even HEAR it. It is tuned out. When you have older kids, it is crazy, but you have very little tolerance for it! How did we forget so fast???
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