My sweet boy, Brady, will be turning five next week. He’s an incredibly bright little guy with an impressive vocabulary, strong athletic skills and is generally pretty darn smart. I have no academic reason for delaying his kindergarten debut, but I’m doing it anyway.
Redshirting My Kindergartner
Since he will barely be five at the time of enrollment, I have a choice: to let him be the young kid in class or the older. For him to graduate high school as a (hopefully) more mature 18 year old or as a 17 year old. I can buy an extra year of growing and maturing before he leaves high school and my nest and I like having that ability.
In the near term, I feel like kindergarten is too much for such a young kid. Seven straight hours of school, a desk, structured learning… I just don’t think it suits many five-year-olds. It may be wonderful for your child, I have no idea, but I don’t feel like it would be good for mine.
I’m basing this decision like I base every parenting one.
My gut. Kindergarten just doesn’t feel “right” to me and I trust that instinct with every fiber of my being. It has never let me down. What is the rush anyway?
I loathe the fact that so many people assume there is something “wrong” with a kid because he is redshirting kindergarten. That just isn’t the case. We are taking the next year to stick with the simplicity of pre-school and let him learn and grow in the same way he is now.
So, is it possible this choice will hinder him in the future? Help him in the future? The studies can’t really seem to find a solid answer but the good news is that there is no glaring indication that I would be hindering him what-so-ever. In fact, I feel quite certain I’ll be doing the opposite.
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Liz is a just a mom trying to keep it real about how little she sleeps, how often she gets puked on and how much she loves them. You can find her here every day writing about real-mom moments.
Aimee says
Totally valid decision. For me, my daughter turns 5 two weeks after the new date her district chose, and now she’s having to do kindergarten twice. Transitional (which is the same curriculum, just slower), and then a year of Kindergarten. I feel like I am going to have one incredibly bored kinder kid in 2016! She’s been in pre-school (and then pre-k) since Spring 2014, and her teachers at the school think she’s ready, I think she’s ready, but some arbitrary date says she’s not. I would be okay with it if I were able to stay home with her, but I am a teacher as well, and it just isn’t happening that way.
BUT, next year, you and I both will be prepping our babies for Kinder 🙂
Melissa says
I red-shirted my oldest, his birthday is in mid-August, and every year since then, I’m so glad that I did. He’s entering high school in the fall, and I know that he is better off having had that extra year to grow. Know that following your gut for your son, a person you’ve known since before he was born, is the best thing you can do for him to help him become the adult he is meant to be,
Leah says
I own a childcare/preschool and I am a strong believer that some kids just need that extra year. I have always told parents of young 5 year olds that they should consider waiting a year, unfortunately our school district has recently started forcing parents to send their children by stating that if they don’t enroll their child in kindergarten they will be placed in 1st grade the following year when they start school. It is such a disservice to the kids that need that time. Why set them up to struggle when we can give them a boost toward success?
stephanie says
Wow. I cannot believe that the school can make that decision over the parent….
Sharon Jones says
I don’t believe the school has the right to make that decision. Parents have the ultimate say in the education of their young children.
Kelly says
Oh, if only that were true. parents have lost much of their say when it comes to their child’s education. Going to kindergarten at 5 was the way everyone did it when I was growing up and even 11 years ago when my son went into Kindergarten. The cutoff was only if you had a December birthday. I’m glad there is a choice on this now. Parents should always have final say when it comes to their kids. Too often this is not the case. And, really, compulsory attendance usually starts at 6, not 5.
Brooke says
Did the same with 2 of our 3 because we felt it was best for them. No regrets! Trust your instincts. Both are now top of their classes and starting on varsity teams as the youngest at their respective schools (MS & HS). Parents know what’s best if they truly know their kids. We got LOTS of criticism and judgement (especially since we’re both coaches and people assumed it was for athletic reasons). Don’t care.
Sarah says
We did this with my daughter last year. Her birthday is August 31 and our cut off is Sept. 1. While she was ready academically, my husband and I along with her Pre School teacher believed that another year would give her the emotional maturity that she needed. This past year has been one of the best things we have ever done for our daughter. She has matured so much in the past year and now I can confidently say that she is ready to start Kindergarten.
Brenda Vowell says
As a retired kindergarten teacher, with 34 years of experience, I can tell you that you aren’t making a mistake in delaying his enrollment. Five years old is just a number, some are ready to start and some aren’t. I let my son start at 5 ( birthday in August) and academically he did fine, but we hit a wall of not being mature enough to handle some situations in third grade. This lasted until high school. He started college at 17 and failed the first semester. Started the next year again and graduated summa cum laude. I never had a parent the regretted holding their child back. Go with your gut feeling.
Suzanne Jones says
I studied academic red-shirting & life satisfaction for my doctoral dissertation. The study is published through Proquest. The results in favor of red-shirting were overwhelming. I would love to speak with anyone about it at any time. I red-shirted both my boys and they are almost finished with high school. I have never regretted it, they love being older rather than younger, and I am cherishing every extra moment I get.
Amber says
I would love to read your dissertation or your findings about redshirting. Our 4 kids are August birthdays. So far we have redshirted both our oldest boys and are considering it for our younger two. So far no regrets, but I am interested in it’s impact down the road. If you’d like to email, you can send to my gmail account: amberkatrina
Heidi says
My son is 4, his birthday is 8-31 which is the exact date of our kinder cutoff. We have year around school here in AZ so he would start kinder at age 4 being the youngest. We decided to put him in an advanced pre school that will still teach him sight words and all the kinder curriculum. Some people are telling me he will be bored but I just know he will be better off as the oldest versus the youngest.
Brittany says
As a kid who had to wait an extra year due to having a birthday 2 weeks after the cut off date, I hated it. I was academically and socially ready and I felt held back my entire K-12 career. Sure it had some perks, I loved getting to drive before most of my other classmates. But it also meant I was bored out of my mind. I ended up taking college classes early which helped, but I still personally would have rather started kindergarten a year earlier.
Lindsey says
This was my thought exactly, Brittany. My birthday is mid-August, and I was ready for kindergarten at five. Thankfully, my mom put me in instead of holding me back. Yes, I was always the youngest in my class, but who cares?! I was keeping up or was ahead academically every year. If a child is ready, I think it’s a disservice to hold him/her back. It likely boils down to selfish reasons like the parent not being ready to let go.
Jess says
My story is the opposite of yours. I started kindergarten 2 weeks before turning 5 on August 31st. You say the only negative to being redshirted is that you were bored? I would have taken boredom any day over everything I went through for being so young. I was always behind everyone else academically and physically as well. I was teased for being short, I was the slow one in gym, I couldn’t yet do sit-ups or push-ups while the other kids could. I was labeled a “C student”. I didn’t go through puberty until well into my freshmen year and I was teased for having no boobs when most other girls did. I didn’t have many friends in my grade, mostly I hung out with the kids in the grade below me, I just never fit in with the older kids. I went to a community college at 17 and dropped out after one year. I ended up going back to school years later and did well, but regardless, I’ve never understood why my parents chose to push me forward in school when I clearly wasn’t ready, my entire experience in school negatively impacted my self esteem, long-term. If my kid’s greatest complaint about my decision is that they were bored in school, I think I can live with that.
Debby says
I applaud you!!! I’m a retired Kindergarten & preschool teacher. I gave this speech to many parents over the years. Some took my advice but several who didn’t came back & said they wish they would of gIven their child the gift of time. I also Redshirted my daughter & never regretted it. Your son is so lucky to have a mom who cares about a boy having a chance to be a little boy. Enjoy this year?
Denise says
You are your child’s 1st teacher and you know them better than anyone.Always go with your gut when it comes to your children.I also have a son named Brady,who I red shirted in kindergarten and his fantastic kindergarten teacher had a saying “you are giving your child the gift of time”. They will never be this age again and you will never get this time with them back. My son had no physical or academic delays which would have prompted me to delay his entrance into kindergarten,just me and my gut thinking he was a little shy and immature.All day,Everyday,5days a week in a building with new faces and a lot more structure is a tremendous change for a young child. Today he’s an amazing student and enjoys school. I also red-shirted my youngest son, for the same reasons. I have no regrets,as he is thriving as well? I applaud your choice.
As a side note,I now teach preschool at my children’s school and not only do I share this approach with several of our students parents when I feel it necessary BUT then I see for myself years down the road what a benefit is it!!! Also,it’s very obvious when I check in on our previous students who the youngest children in the class are. Ultimately the choice is the parents,And I often wonder how well do parents know their children.
Suzanne Jones says
I would like to address the comments by the two young ladies that do not like the idea of red-shirting. Since this was my dissertation topic, I had to do an exhaustive literature review. I studied boys, because the things that boys care about in high school are very different from the things girls care about. For example, boys want to grow early (the earlier the better). However, girls do not like being taller than everyone else early on, starting puberty earlier, etc. It matters to boys A LOT if they have to drive first or drive last. That does not seem to be a concern that teenage girls have. So I will point out that the little research that has been done on academic red-shirting (many studies study “old for the grade students” regardless of if they were red-shirted or repeated) do not show the tremendous positive results for girls as it does with boys.
Suzan says
As a long-time kindergarten teacher I love what you are doing for so many reasons! Congratulations on making the best choice for your child and their future.
Diane says
Son was born in March sent him to school when he was 5. He basically was the youngest boy in his grade. Wished I had waited the year like most other parents.
Daughter was born in November, waited the year, best thing I did for her.
Both are doing well in their adult lives.
Mrs Apple says
My daughter’s birthday is the last week in August. The cutoff is August 31st. I’ve struggled so much trying to decide whether to do another year of preschool or send her on to Kindergarten. After talking about it to anyone who would listen, we’ve decided to do another year of preschool. It’s difficult making a decision such as this that will follow your child throughout their academic career. I hope the extra year will help set her on a path to academic success. Thank you for sharing your story with those of us who are still not 100% sold on the idea.
Kisha says
I can’t see doing this with my daughter or son. My child is already bored in her 2 year old class in day care. She has a late birthday (October 9), so she would be an older kindergarten student. If she continues to progress academically at the same rate, I will be doing my best to get her into kindergarten as a young 5 year old. Otherwise, I could see her acting up and getting into trouble if she’s not challenged.
Jenny says
I wish we had this choice in the England. 31st Aug with no flexibility at all. You don’t have to put them into school until the term following their 5th birthday but you start in the same class as everyone who started in September or the year before (ie August-born DS1 would have started in Year 1 and missed Reception entirely). So that means moving into an established groups of friends and also starting off by having to catch up on top of being the least emotionally/socially ready. DS1 started preschool at 4 years + 2 weeks, and he’s been learning in the same environment as his almost-a-year-older-September-born peers from the start. He has learnt absolutely loads (despite it being a heavily play-based environment; they only do short taught periods each day eg 20 mins phonics in the morning) and although he’s massively behind his September-born peers, he’s not as far behind as he would have been without going. If we could have held him back a year and still had him start in Reception I would have done it without hesitation.
Emma says
Awesome for you! All the experts and the studies in the world don’t know your child and your family. YOU do. Always go with your gut – it’s right so much of the time! 😉
Patrick Weseman says
Do what you feel is best.
My son just graduated high school and will be 18 at end of July. I wish I would have held back a year at the beginning. I remember a parent-teacher conference at the beginning of his 4th grade year. The school he was in, had a weird school year so they started the new school year at the beginning of July. Anyway, the teacher was telling me about his behavior and stuff (I am teacher also but in high school), I asked her if knew how my son was. She looked at me strange. I told her that he was eight and about to be nine in a week. She couldn’t believe it, most of his class was nine going on ten. Just a little story about it.
I think that you are making a good choice.
Susan says
I taught elementary school for 40 years. I was also an August 29th baby with a September 1st cut off who was always the youngest in the class. So I have both perspectives. Your reasoning is perfectly sound! The oldest in the class always have the advantage! When I started teaching in Florida the cut off was January 1st. When it was decided to move the cut off to September 1st they did it in increments, one month a year. The difference was incredible. Year by year we watched the crying, scared little people disappear. Four years later the little people were confident eager learners. In my opinion you’re doing the right thing.
Courtney says
Hey I have 2 daughters. My oldest daughter is 4 and her birthday is may 31st. So I’m debating on sending her to kindergarten next year. If I wait she will be 6 when she starts kindergarten and she will be 7 at the end of the year or the school year could possibly be over before she turns 7. She is smart and seems like she would do fine I just still think she is to young. My other daughter is only 19 months old and is a January baby. So if I waited to send her when she is 6 when she starts kindergarten she would be 6 1/2 and turn 7 during kindergarten and I don’t want either one of them to be to old in kindergarten and be behind. So I’m really just wanting any advice or suggestions on this. I don’t want to send them and then not be ready but I don’t want to send them to late either. My birthday is the beginning of August so I had just turned 5 when I started kindergarten and was always the youngest in school snd was 17 when I graduated. I always hated being the youngest. My sister is also a august baby and my mom waited to send her and she does just fine. She is 15 going into 9th grade. I would just love any advice on this. Thanks
Devon says
Yes! My daughter just turned 5 last Thursday, and school started this Wednesday. I wasn’t comfortable with her being 5 for such a short amount of time before school started, so we are giving her the gift of one more year of preschool. I do feel like I have to explain to people that there isn’t anything wrong with my daughter, she is smart and fully capable of doing Kindergarten right now. I am basing this decision off of the future. We all make the choices that we feel are right for our family.
Renee says
My youngest daughter was born in late November, we thought she was ready for kindergarten (extremely social and bright) but her teacher suggested we hold her back a year. She had a friend (mother and I work together) who was born on at the same time and it was suggested that she be held back also. We held my daughter back but her friend was not. Both are in college now. My daughter is very mature, did great in school and is very successful. Her friend struggled with school and had maturity issues. Her mother tells me all the time that she wishes she had held her daughter back. She feels that a number of problems her daughter had would not have happened if she had been given that extra year. So do what your instinct tells you, there is nothing wrong with giving them a little extra time.
Melanie roberts says
i chose to have my son and my daughter wait another year before heading off to school. Best thing we ever did. Gave my son a chance to mature a bit more and my daughter a chance to grow a bit taller. Sometimes that extra time just gives them the chance to have their minds and bodies be a little more prepared. The teachers were even able to tell that they both were older.. Sometimes children are just not ready for all day structure of school and the gift of time to grow can be the best gift a parent can give their child. My son is 28 and my daughter is 14. It was the best decision but it really is up to the parents to decide and no one should feel pressured one way or the other. Children are so understanding and could really care less how old their classmates are.
Shiavia says
I agree ☝🏾 I just had to do a paper on red shirting Kindergarten excellent points
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saracron says
It’s heartwarming to read about Brady’s upcoming fifth birthday and his remarkable talents. Sometimes, as parents, we make choices based on intuition and personal considerations, even if they don’t align with conventional academic norms. Wishing Brady a wonderful year ahead, filled with joy and continued growth. https://businessleadsworld.com/contact-us/
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