After you’ve been married a few years and the kids have come along, it’s very normal for some of the romance in your relationship to take more of a back seat to the practical tasks that have to be done on a daily basis. Of course, just because something is “normal” doesn’t mean you have to settle for it. Why settle for a marriage that is ordinary, when you could have a marriage that is romantic, fulfilling and extraordinary?
If your marriage has been a little lackluster lately, today’s a great day to spice things up a bit.
15 Ways to Put More Romance in Your Marriage
1. Find out what your spouse considers romantic: Whether you spouse needs flowers, a back rub or a night out, you aren’t going to get very far if you do all the wrong things.
2. Relive the good old days: Retell all your favorite old stories or visit places you used to frequent when you first started dating.
3. Don’t overlook the small things: Not only should you make more of an effort to DO the small things–you should make an effort to notice them too.
4. Flirt: Sexy compliments, winks, touches, peeks… all the things you used to do to get him going.
5. Set aside a regular date night: No matter how much you love your children, you need some alone time away from them too.
6. Be intentional: Romance doesn’t happen automatically. Every day, ask yourself, “How can I best love my spouse today?”
7. Get help: One of the biggest detractors to romance for moms is feeling too tired after a long day with kids. Have your husband help out, or hire a sitter or cleaning lady part time as needed.
8. Make your bedroom a sanctuary: It’s hard to relax when your room is full of work, kids’ toys or electronics. Clear everything extra out.
9. Make your spouse a priority: Everyday, 100 things are going to fight for your attention. Remember who and what matters most.
10. Banish mood busters: What things are mood killers for you? How can you eliminate them?
11. Find a common interest: You can’t lead separate lives and then expect to reconnect at the end of the day. Romance should involve shared hobbies as well.
12. Seek counseling if you need it: You will also struggle with romance if you’re still holding on to past baggage. Don’t be afraid to get help if needed.
13. Quiet interruptions: Whether it’s your schedule or the dog, what things always interrupt your time with your spouse, and how can you better manage them?
14. Take care of yourself: Forgetting to shower or brush your teeth and living in sweatpants and a ponytail hardly sets the mood for romance. Change before your husband gets home at least.
15. Don’t give up: A life of romance doesn’t happen overnight. If you have a bad day–or even a bad year–don’t give up. Keep trying. You made a commitment to each other.
Do you feel like you’ve fallen out of love with your spouse and wish you knew how to get it back?
My new seven day challenge is designed to do just that with easy and tangible ways to fall back in love with your spouse! It is powerful and effective and only requires a few minutes a day. Want to get the first day for free? Grab it here and get started!
Teacher turned work-at-home mom, Brittany loves using her words to help people improve their faith, marriage and parenting. And with one awesome husband and two very rambunctious little boys, she’s always got a lot to say! In addition to writing for Love and Marriage, she also owns her own site, Equipping Godly Women, where she regularly shares helpful tips, tricks and encouragement to help women be the amazing women God created them to be.
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Number 14 is the hardest one for me, especially because I work from home. I’m trying more to not be guilty of that.
Having time for time for each other is a best thing to keep in mind and else come later for me!
You definitely have to make your spouse and your marriage a priority. If you don’t put in the effort, the romance will be the first thing to go. Don’t stop flirting and everyday think about why you love your spouse.
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Your blog post is spot on. My husband and I have been married for 33 years and we still have to make our marriage a priority. Marriages go through many seasons over the years, and it’s easy to put our marriage on the backburner. It takes work and effort, but it is all so worth it.
I agree date nights are essential. Book it into the diary and don’t let anything else take priority for those few hours. We’ve all got great intentions, but life gets in the way otherwise.
Hello, Brittany! Thank you for your nice sharing. Many couples lost their romantic life after marriage, for them, it can work as life saving drug tips. The idea to date night might be the best way to spend sweet time together and to relive with romantic moments which you ever had spent together before marriage. I must also say that in order to make your marriage life more romantic, and loving, we have great date ideas that helps you in giving great push to your romantic life by doing successful dating after marriage.
Nice article, Brittany!
I also agree with @John Peres that Date night ideas and all other points which you have mentioned can work as life-saving drug tips for every couple.
I like how you talked about making your bedroom a sanctuary for your spouse and you. My husband and I have been looking for ways to keep the romance alive. I really appreciate the tips on how you can spice your relationship back up.
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