My son is 5 now and before I know it he’ll be asking to spend the night with his friends. My husband and I have thought a lot about how we’ll handle that, and how we can make good decisions so that our kids are safe when they’re not in our care.
Let me be very clear. The reasons my kid won’t be allowed to spend the night with some kids isn’t about me saying I’m better than anyone else. Truth is I’m sure my husband and I do things that may be on someone else’s no-fly list for sleepovers. In the end we all have to do what we feel is best for our children and protect them the best way we can – even if it’s unpopular with other adults.
- You are a gun owner. If you want to own a gun or multiple guns, that’s currently your constitutional right in this country and I wouldn’t presume to try and convince you otherwise. But, no matter how many gun safes you have or how responsible a gun owner you tell me you are, I’m not willing to bet my child’s life on your word. In 2015 there were more than 260 accidental shootings by kids in the United States. I won’t risk having my son be part of a statistic like that in 2016.
- You swear like you’re getting paid per word. When we’re at our kids’ sporting activities I routinely hear you using language around your child that I wouldn’t use in front of another adult. Don’t get me wrong. There have been too many times something AWFUL has flown out of my mouth in front of my kids, and I always feel terrible about it afterward. But, I don’t make it a habit and I do my best to watch my words. I’m not prepared to have my child hear the F-bomb at your house more than he’ll hear his own name.
- You scream at your kid. We’ve all done it. Being a parent is exhausting, and often frustrating. If someone tells you they’ve never yelled at their kids, they’re either lying or some kind of alien from the planet Perfect. But, you take it to new heights. You scream at your kid more than anyone I’ve ever heard and I absolutely hate to hear it. I’m not sending my son to your house with ear plugs, and I’m not going to have him feel afraid because of the incessant shrieking. Besides, it would seem you’ve got your hands full with one kid. Adding mine might make you blow a vessel.
- You drink a lot and often. By a lot, I mean a LOT. And by often, I mean all the time. Believe me when I tell you that sometimes this Momma needs a glass of wine to wind down from the day. But I don’t get sloppy drunk in front of my kiddos and I don’t subject them to that kind of example from others. Your behavior around town leads me to believe you don’t feel the same way. Cheers to you, but I think I’ll keep my son at home.
- You are a racist. I know, I know. You don’t think you’re a racist. You probably want to tell me all about how many “black friends” you have at work, or how everyone knows you’re just kidding when you use “certain words.” In our home we are accepting of all races, religions, and sexual orientation. We do our best to protect our children from the thinly veiled hate speech you use, so sorry – but your ignorance isn’t okay with us.
Like I said in the beginning, this isn’t about me trying to pretend I’m some kind of perfect parent. That would be a ridiculous lie. This is about my husband and I trying to care for own children in a way we feel is healthy and right for our family.
What do you think? Do you have a “no-fly” list for sleepovers? I’d love to hear about them.
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Jen says
I think you mean to say “…not in your care” not “out in our care”
Jennifer says
Read it again…she meant to say not in our care.
Stephanie says
Good luck finding friends you will allow your kid to sleep over with.
Elise says
That seemed like a pretty realistic list to me!
Sara says
Absolutely lol
melissa says
I’ll make my list simple.. My kid can sleep at no ones house. Simple
Nicole says
I agree with all these except the gun thing. We live in Texas and everyone has a gun in their home. I make sure people have them in a secure safe and I have taught my kids what to do around guns, as well as what to do if they are at a friend’s house and the friend wants to show them their parent’s guns. Guns aren’t novel so my kids aren’t curious about them. They’ve been hunting, have seen our pistols for personal protection and are allowed to shoot their bb gun in a very safe and supervised environment. If your kid has never been around a gun and is curious about them the safer route would be to take the mystery out of them and educate them about the gravity of misuse of guns.
Anne Case says
Amen!
kj says
Same thoughts here. You are judging all these people you have yet to meet. Gun owners? Drinkers? Racists? Seriously your child should just stay home in your very liberal, judgmental home.
NR says
I’d have to agree with everything you said. I know the author did her best to seem like she wasn’t trashing others families way of life. But all I could see was her words being filtered through a liberal point of view. We have guns hidden securely all over our house in small safes and a huge safe. Our knows what they are and isn’t curious about them. Even reminds us to bring them when we leave the house for personal protection. And she is two. Education starts as soon as possible. And good like finding these perfect parents you speak of. Sounds like your the ones from “Planet Perfect”
Ashley says
It’s not called planet perfect, it’s called Canada and it’s a pretty awesome place to be. What you describe as “perfect parents” that seemingly don’t exist are actually the typical Canadian family.
Karen says
Woohoo Ashley, say it sister! You reminded me of how glad I am to be Canadian. I cannot imagine feeling the need to keep a gun at home in order to protect myself from other people’s guns. Without all of the guns in the first place, I have felt pretty darn safe without one for 49 years. That is the pretty typical Canadian family, indeed.
Bill says
Hunters exist in Canada. Guns are not just for protection. Lots of people use them in Canada to provide food for their families.
Stephanie says
Absolutely! I don’t own a gun myself but I agree fully with the constitution and teaching children about guns. Gun education could have prevented most (if not all) of the accidents reported.
Tabitha says
I am a gun owner and my son knows the do’s and don’t’s of guns but I still would not be comfortable with him spending the night with someone who has a lot of guns. Just as I would understand if someone else didn’t want their kid at my house because I have one.
G says
I would not leave my kid in a home were a gun is present. You can play Russian roulette with your kid but not mine!
Kim says
Absolutely! That’s how I grew up.
Cookie Momster says
With the exception of grandparents, we don’t do sleep overs, ever, period. I don’t care if you’re a cousin, or Mother Teresa. Too many children are molested by people close to the family who are trusted adults. I was at a sleepover once where the dad was spying on us through the window. He said he was trying to scare us but still, it was weird. Sleepovers are also where I learned about sex and sexual terms and was exposed to hard core porn. Another time a girl I knew who has some serious issues spent the night at a friend’s house. She claimed the dad had molested her. They later found out she was lying as a sick way to get some attention. Not all sleepovers might be bad but why would I risk it? It’s like putting your family’s heads in a lion’s mouth that everyone claims is tame, eventually they’re going to be bitten.
Advocate for children says
You hit the nail on the head with your comment. I was a middle school counselor and held many girl’s hands as we reported sexual abuse after a weekend sleepover. This cannot be undone! Sleepovers should be a thing of the past! There are way too many idiots out there.
Fiz says
I agree with not doing sleepovers but what excuses do you give to their friends or other parents as to why? I’m fine with my child staying and hanging out even late but not overnight.
I have resorted to saying it’s a medical thing, hoping for better excuses that don’t offend others.
Hil says
Thank you for a legitimate list! I agree with all because they’re actually real problems and I couldn’t have said it better myself. My children will never sleep at a house where a gun is present and alcoholism is no joke. Period. I know there are plenty who agree with this list so yes, my children will be having sleepovers, but with like-minded parents.
Amy Ford says
My husband is a police officer. I’m ALWAYS going to have guns in my house. Your rule eliminates all armed forces, armed security, and law enforcement. These are people who are trained to protect, background checked, and held to higher standards than average gun owners. I hope my friends will teach their kids what to do when they encounter a gun, rather than hide their children from the situation. I hope you will reconsider, as many people in these professions are great examples of Godly leadership and sacrificial living. They are not to be shunned because they protect us, but rather sought out, so that in times of need, our children know that they can be trusted.
I think if you are not trusting of the people who parent your child’s friends, perhaps any time at their house should be restricted. Guns don’t only work at night.
Ashley says
My husband is RCAF and we’ve never had a gun in our home. We both believe that guns are tools used for a specific purpose. As a military member, the specific purpose for my husband to have a gun is for use during armed conflict. We are fortunate enough to live in a country where armed conflict isn’t something we experience at home, therefor we need not have a gun in our home. He carries when deployed, when a gun is a tool of his trade. Our children don’t play with weapon toys because at no time should a weapon be treated with such disrespect.
lailah says
Wow, what kind of company are you and your kids around??? Seems like you are surrounded by child abusers, racist, drunks, criminals and irresponsible parents!! Sleepovers should be the least of your issues, you need to move!!!
Rebecca says
👍gold!!!
janelle says
You sound like a very angry And Judgmental person very sorry to say but I don’t think your kids are going to do very well in public school I hope you put them in private school
anell says
No guns?
People that are illegal gun carriers, kill more.
Educate your son about guns, so as it won’t be a novelty.
Drinking, what would you say is too much? I have whiskey or two in my home and I’m no alcoholic or irresponsible or drunk.
Screaming. Hey I’ve got two boys… they van really push my buttons at times. Hell yes I’ve shouted at them… and I believe in a hiding when called for.
I do not promote same sex relationships in my house, or tolerate other religions, because I am a Christian and happily so, so if you want to give your child freedom to encounter other religions… well your child is not welcome. My boys are aware of other religions sure. But I do not promote them… they won’t look good in dresses or suicide vests anyway.
Your list is liberal and presumptuous.
Agree that your children had better not go to public school, perhaps homeschooling.
Dee says
The whole Christian religion is based on tolerance.
You don’t “tolerate”? You’re no good Christian.
Abby says
Agreed. Wow.
Rebecca says
👍
Emma says
I’m sorry for all these negative comments you’re getting for this post. It seems sad that a majority of people disagree with limiting a child’s exposure to racists and dangerous weapons. I’m glad you’re working to make sure your kids always feel safe, even when they’re away from home
Manna says
I would add smokers to the list. Our association does not swear, smoke, drink heavily and think others are beneath them.
In reality from a kids point of view…it’s all fun and games until you actually have to go to bed and wake up in the morning and still be there. I hated sleep overs growing up.
Shana says
Maybe I’m just completely naive, but this list seems ridiculous to me…not that it is wrong…but why does this even need to be said? My husband is in law enforcement, so I don’t see anything wrong with a responsible gun owner. But if a person has issues with the other things you were talking about, there is obviously nothing very responsible about them. If I knew of an issue like this my kids wouldn’t be spending anytime at their house. My husband and I don’t allow sleepovers, but for different reasons.
Tabitha says
I would add screen time/electronic use. I find most kids get waaaay more screen time than my son is allowed. Watch shows that he’s not allowed to watch. Have macbooks, ipads or ipods or cell phones that they are allowed to use out of their parents sight as well as having youtube, instagram and snapchat accounts. My son is almost 8 and even at that age, these things are going on.
My son has only spent the night with his grandparents. He’s honestly shown no interest in spending the night with a friend. If/when he does, it will have to be a friend who’s mother is a FRIEND of mine and we are like-minded. That narrows the list waaaaaay down.
Becki says
Terrible read. Written by some stuck up liberal
Orchid says
I agree with all that you said. My son is 8 and his best friend is constantly begging me to let him sleep over. I have allowed his bff to sleep at our house but not the reverse. It is out of the fear of all you mentioned and more. At his friend’s house the family loves to collect all sorts of weapons and the oldest son has a slight anger issue that concerns me. I love to hang out at their house with my son, they really are fun and sweet people. I just don’t agree with all their decisions and am not raising my son to be so accepting of violence.
mona says
I agree with your list the people commenting rude things and belittling your parenting sound like they got offended about the guns. I live in Texas and no not everyone owns a gun, there is no reason why my child should touch one or be around one just because someone else thinks it’s ok. You stated your opinions and beliefs and these ignorant people are so quick to judge you for being careful and wanting to provide your children with a safe environment. You keep doing you 🙂 sounds like your kids will grow up to be loving, compassionate and careful, exactly what we need!!
Tiffany says
I don’t have a no fly list, just a character judgement. I would love for our children to have a sleepover, but your child’s closed minded mother would not allow it because I am a gun owner. You state that someone else’s ignorance is not okay with you after displaying your own. I wasted 4 minutes of my life reading this. Four minutes I would have rather spent cleaning out the crawl space in my house.
Yasmin says
I completely agree with you.
It’s not about thinking you’re better than another person.
We all have our own values and morals that we want to teach our children.
Debra C says
I had to re-read this list several times, after reading the comments below. I think that if you are 100% certain of the items you have listed in 2-5, it’s valid. I do not know anyone that would fit in your criteria of 2-5 actually. As far as number 1 is concerned, we are a LEO family and have several gun safes around our house. Our kids (we have 4) are not given the combination, so they do not have access to any gun. I recently had to tell my 12 yo that he is no longer allowed in a friends home because they have guns and do not keep them locked up. I wont allow it. My oldest prefers to have sleepovers at our house, but my 9 yo loves sleep overs. It’s a fun part of a kids childhood, we have four boys on our block that spend the night between all our homes, and they have the times of their lives. I don’t care if they stay up playing video games, or eat junk food. It’s part of being a kid and having fun.
Bailey says
I think this list is more than valid. As parents, it’s our job to sheild and protect our children from harmful behaviors and situations. And I also found I think quite the opposite of liberal. I am extremely conservative and I agree with everything but the gins. But that is your right as a parent to decide if and when you want to expose your children to guns. In my opinion, the parents writing the negative comments are parents who don’t take they’re role as their child’s protector very seriously. If we don’t protect our children, who will? Good for you for having solid morals and not being willing to waver in your decisions.
Anna says
I definitely would not even want your kid to have a sleepover at my house, or even better – I wouldn’t let your kid that will grow up to be just like you be friends with my son. “You use bad words” awww how cute. Fuck, the whole world uses it. Your kid will use it one day. Drink? Ha, you’re too cute. Guess what your child is gonna be doing in front of you or behind your back!?
My child would not, never have a sleepover at your house. God knows the stupidity that would come out of your mouth to him. Yeah I scream, I drink, I own guns, I don’t fuck with Pangea, I have faith in God and I’ll tell you more – I don’t give a fuck about people like you. My kid would not have a sleepover because I don’t know who the parents are, molestation and abuse are real things. That’s my fear. My fear is not that he will hear some cuss words or see his friend get yelled at by his parent. Unless they yell at my child, then they will meet me very quickly.
Instead of worrying about how ethical, honest, good hearted, loving a person is, you worry about these dumb shit motives…. the only one I agree with you is about racist people and I even wonder if youre saying that just to look good. To look like “the perfect American mother”.
beLIEve says
Oh you are just too precious. Bless your heart. Since you refer to your imaginary friend as god you must consider yourself a christian but you are merely an ignorant hypocrite. You may want to glance over the bible because Jesus was not really one for the ” I don’t give a fuck about you” retoric. Furthermore, you would not feel the need to have a gun if you truly had faith in your imaginary friend. The world can only hope that despite your best efforts to turn your child into an ignorant hypocrite like yourself they decide to be a decent human being instead.
Rebecca says
👍hit the nail on the head!! She sounds extremely rasist and judgemental herself. I used to love this blog now im deleting, thank fuck i live in Australia!! That lady seriously needs to pull her finger out. Its actually people like this that end up being the ones who are dodgey and do sick stuff to kids. Way to go on raising your socialy awkward child. Sounds like all she wanted to do was blow her own horn and try and sound better than the rest of us, which she also needed to reinstate, seriously grow up and get a life. Thank fuck she only has 1 kid!!! And im sure her child is gender nuetral too, oh its up to them to decide what gender they will be….
Omg
Please…..
Pass me my gun..
Newfie says
I agree 100 %
Flora says
The fact that there are countries in the world where it is perfectly normal for anyone to keep guns in their homes is terrifying to me.
Leah says
So y’all don’t hunt?
Sh says
And don’t forget anyone that drives. There are thousands of fatal accidents each year. So leave out anyone that wants to drive your kid somewhere.
Crystal says
I won’t let my kids sleep over or have friends here for one main reason… I don’t want any bed bugs or roaches carried in my house. We just do day time play dates in town at the park, the lake, movies, pizza play zones, etc…
Juli M says
These are eye opening to me, thank you for the list. Already on my list are: you leave kids unattended at times I would not and you invite other children and adults over that I don’t know. Everyone is free to live as they please, but my kid’s life could change in a minute and I wasn’t there to own it.
Leslie Bryant says
Its even more than that for single moms.
1. Your child has had too many uncles.
…..My child doesn’t need any “Uncles” There is a revolving door at your house.
2. You have a live in boyfriend…you know him, I dont
3. You are never home….. I know this cause your kid is always at my house.
Mine are grown now, but I didn’t do away sleepovers.
I kept the kids..theirs and mine. I could see them, and I knew where they were and what they were doing.
Terri says
I think you have good reasons, and that you have that right as a parent to want that for your piece of mind. As far as your reason if the parents own guns and keep them in a gun safe. That parent is being very responsible have their guns locked up and more times than none their kids I am sure are also educated about the harm those guns can do. I am a parent that has guns in my home and my kids have known all the dangers of guns since they have been really little. You should not punish the responsible gun owner because of your fears. You need to help educate you child on what to do if they are in a situation like that. My kids both know if they are in that situation to get out of the room or even the house and go tell an adult or go to the neighbors and call the police. It really is about education!!
M. says
Mz. Perfect Parent should be more worried about bodies of water…pool, lake, pond, TUB! 10 x more children drown than get shot. Guess she is more worried about ‘incidentals’ ie…f#…that can be explained to a child …than accidentals on safety…that cannot…once something happens.
M. says
Mz. Perfect Parent should be more worried about bodies of water…pool, lake, pond, TUB! 10 x more children drown than get shot. Guess she is more worried about ‘incidentals’ ie…f#…that can be explained to a child …than accidentals on safety…that cannot…once something happens.
Between that & there are WAY too many perv’s out there.
Those are my 2 fears…
laveda says
I had a sleepover with my friend when I was about 9 years old. Her dad came in and was trying to “tickle” us.
I was a smart little kid I told him “I’m telling my dad”. He stopped.
Karen says
My 5 reasons: 1. You automatically think gun owners are either criminals or irresponsible. 2. You are so overprotective you think you can control everything your child hears and does. 3. You’re not perfect, but only make “little” mistakes. 4.You know everything about everyone because you gossip a lot, and I mean A LOT.. 5. You are judgemental of others AKA ARROGANT. …..one last hing to add… When my kids were young, there was a child who was ADD, he did not do well in school, his father had died and he still has a worthless mother and grew up in a terrible home, by far the worst in our small town. One thing I noticed is that the parents who acted like they knew exactly how to raise their child would not talk to him in school or church, would not invite him to birthday parties, sleepovers, outings, etc. Their kids were also the pot heads, drinkers, wrecked their first and often second vehicle by driving like an idiot, etc Their kids are the ones who are 36 years old and still have the nickname of “Dopey Danny” or “Backseat Becky.”That kid would stay at our house for several weeks at a time because, as I told my kids, he needs someone to show him how to act. He is now a home owner, a husband, father and works 60 to 80 hours a week to support his family. He never used drugs and doesn’t drink or smoke. So don’t put your kid on too high of a pedestal…. it’s a long drop when they fall off.
Amber says
What a pretentious cunt you are
George says
Good. I don’t want my kids hanging with ignorant, brainwashed, SJW f*cks LIKE YOU and your kids.
Moonbat says
Boo hoo!
Tim says
Your kids gonna be bullied to high hell.
Nancy says
Another reason: Prevent sexual abuse. Re: Erin Merryn/ Erin’s Law.