This Is Motherhood (In Relatable AF Tweets)

There isn’t much more I love in the world than moms keeping it real. Not just showing those beautiful loving moments but the real stuff.

A great place to find those little nuggets of realness is Twitter.

Like how terrible making slime really is.

Today, we made slime for the first time.

Also, today we made slime for the last time.

— Liz Nieman (@liznieman22) March 5, 2019

Kids in the middle of the night are flat out scary.

I don’t care how cute your kid is. When you wake up in the middle of the night and see them standing next to your bed, they are terrifying.

— Wendy S. (@maughammom) August 1, 2016

Mom life is glamorous.

You’re going to miss this, I whisper to myself as I’m shot in the butt with a nerf gun while unclogging the toilet.

— The 21st Century SAHM (@21stcenturysahm) January 26, 2018

We rarely eat a meal while it’s still hot.

Ever notice in the story of the 3 bears, Papa Bear’s porridge is piping hot, baby’s is perfect, & poor Mama Bear’s is cold?

I get it now.

— Domestic Goddess (@DomesticGoddss) July 27, 2015

There’s always a mystery stain.

Just noticed I have dried snot down the arm of the coat I’ve been wearing in public all week in case anyone was still trying to decide if they want kids 😑🤦🏻‍♀️🤢 #momlife #momproblems

— Nikki L Gagnon (@beez_mom) June 27, 2018

We love iPads.

Me, to all my kids before the age of 2.

“No screens allowed.”

On their 2nd birthday, handing over iPad.

“This is your mother now.”

— Ash (an female) ⚪️ (@adult_mom) October 23, 2015

Your house is full of crafts.

Mom: *tastefully decorates house*
Kid: HERE ARE 20 MILK CARTONS I TAPED TOGETHER TO MAKE A SNOWMAN I EXPECT THIS TO BE PROMINENTLY DISPLAYED

— Goats? (@Gooooats) November 14, 2015

Seriously, where are the spoons?

If you’ve never yelled, “WHERE ARE ALL THE DAMN SPOONS?!” are you even a mom?

— Liz Nieman (@liznieman22) March 6, 2019

They say freaky things.

Instead of saying, “Good night, mommy,” my kid said, “Rest in peace, mommy,” and now I’m a little afraid to go to sleep.

— Mommy Owl (@Lhlodder) March 25, 2019

Look, not all babies are good babies and that’s OK.

I’m tired of hearing new moms always say their baby is “such a good baby.” Just once, I wanna hear a mom be like, “Yeah, no, my baby’s a real dick.”

— SpacedMom (@copymama) March 11, 2019

You get to make up your own rules.

My greatest accomplishment as a parent has been convincing my kids that Chuck E. Cheese is only open once a year.

— MotherPlaylist (@MotherPlaylist) April 17, 2018

It’s like they don’t drink at all during the day.

Bedtime is the leading cause of dehydration in children 3-7.

— Liz Nieman (@liznieman22) April 8, 2019

Don’t worry moms, we know how much you love being a parent. It’s OK to admit the times here and there that you don’t. ♥