10 Disgusting Things Only A Mom Would Do

Motherhood is gross. When you become a parent, you do so many disgusting things you never imagined. Wiping poop off someone’s butt for two and a half years is bad enough. But did you ever realize you’d be wearing that poop?

Dads, don’t take offense! We know you do a lot of these, too. But moms often seem to be the ones committing the most cringe-worthy acts. Our bodies somehow evolve when we give birth, and suddenly, snot and vomit don’t ignite our gag reflexes anymore. These are the truly relatable parenting moments we rarely talk about.

Here are ten things so profoundly disgusting that only a mom (or an awesome dad) would do them:

Why is it that these acts are so common, yet we feel like we’re the only ones doing them? There’s a lot of pressure to be a “perfect parent,” but the truth is, the most dedicated moms are often the ones sitting in their own kid’s vomit. When you step up for your child, your dignity sometimes takes a backseat. That’s the messy, beautiful reality of relatable parenting moments, and a big reason why we need to laugh about them together.

1.  Wipe snot with your bare hands.  Proceed to wipe said snot onto your pants.  What else are you supposed to do if your child blows snot and you don’t have a tissue?

2.  Smell things to determine what they are.  Is that poop?  Did you just throw up?  There’s only one way to tell.

3.  Stick your hand in the toilet – flushed or not.  Those pacifiers aren’t going to retrieve themselves.

4.  Smell someone’s butt.  The easiest way to determine if someone has soiled a diaper is to shove your face up against it and take a deep breath.  Yep, that’s poop!

5.  Wear baby spit-up with no intention of changing.  Yes, I know I have spit-up on the front of my t-shirt. I can smell it, too.  But what’s the point of changing when I’m going to be spit on again in 20 minutes?

6.  Pick someone else’s nose.  “Let me get your booger” is a phrase commonly heard at my house.  I see them there, and I just have to pick them.  It doesn’t gross me out in the least. (As long as it’s my kid, that is. If you show up at my house, I promise not to pick your boogers.)

7.  Allow your kids to throw up on you.  One time my son was sick and started throwing up on me. I just sat there and held him. I quickly moved into the bathtub before the second round hit but never once did I push him away from me. I held him close and let the vomit soak into my sweatshirt.  He needed to feel comforted much more than I needed fresh clothes.

8.  Investigate poop.  The color, the amount, the texture… these things tell us a lot about our kids’ bellies so it’s an important thing to pay attention to.  It also usually gives us a little too much insight into their last meal. Oh, I can see you had blueberries for lunch.

9.  Clean their face with your spit.  A good spit shine works just as well as a wet wipe.

10.  Catch their unwanted, chewed-up food in your hands. “Eww, I don’t like this!” and then they lean over and spit the food into your hand before you have a chance to hand them a napkin.  I’ll never understand why my hand is consistently their choice of trash receptacle.

Ready to confess? Which of these 10 gross parenting moments are you most guilty of? Are there any that we missed? Head down to the comments and join the #MomConfessions community! You’ll quickly see you’re not the only one who has smelled a butt or worn baby spit-up all day.