I’M A MEAN MOM
I make them follow rules.
I punish them when they don’t.
I make them to do chores.
Even when they’re tired.
I say no.
A lot.
I enforce an early bed time.
I push them to do hard things.
I take them to piano and baseball and soccer even when they don’t feel like going.
I don’t let them eat buckets of candy.
I make them read their books.
And study for their spelling tests.
I make you wear your bike helmet even though you hate it.
I won’t let you drink soda.
I won’t let you watch that rated R movie.
I don’t give them everything they want.
I may not always be popular. I may not always make the decision you want me to or the one you think is right.
But I’ll love you to pieces. I’ll protect you. I’ll care for you. I’ll fight for you. I’ll try my best to give you the best life imaginable.
And sometimes by doing that, I have to be what you think is “mean”.
And that’s OK. ♥
Liz is a just a mom trying to keep it real about how little she sleeps, how often she gets puked on and how much she loves them. You can find her here every day writing about real-mom moments.
Niamh says
Sooooo cute Xx just like my mom
Wendy says
Love it!
Jessica Dennert says
I totally feel the same way. I’ve been called a mean mom by my kids classmates but what I want my kids to realize is I do the things I do because i care.
Ramona says
You are not alone🤣🤣🤣 my daughter’s school friends called me the same..!
Arlene says
Love love love!!!!!! I’m a “mean” parent too! I am my children’s parent NOT thier friend! Kudos to you mom!
Lorraine says
totally me and thanks for writing that because of those things I hear you are mean mom often,
Shanen says
Amen sister
Nicole says
Love this!! So true with me also as a mom!
Tamara says
Love this one!
Tiffany Jolene Fernandez says
I feel the same way. My daughter tells me of how cool her friends parents are. They have no bed time, can watch almost anything they want, eat junk food, drinks lots of starbucks coffee. It sometimes feel like I’m so unfunny and too stricked.
Serena says
Have you ever sat down and explained the why behind your choices? Given them hard truths as to what happens to a lot of kids who grow up that way? Without the strict structure of actions and consequences? Told them the lesson behind the disipline?
Im not attacking your parenting by no means I ask because when I started doing that with my older girls. . . It helped tremendously. Best wishes 💖&💫
Christine says
Wish I was more popular. But then again, I’m the parent. Not dad lol
I explain every day. They see the examples of ” no rules ” at least once a week. Those they think are free, now have comments, like, I guess their parents dont care. Hopefully gonna stick
Sana says
Beautiful.
Bonnie says
I am officially a “mean” mom lol
Thuong says
That’s a true Mom.
Chelsea Marie says
Sooo just because others parent differently, they aren’t a true mom? Smh. I disagree. A good mom is any supportive, loving mom.
Jill says
Are there really moms out there who read this and think, “Nope, I let my kids eat buckets of candy and never study for school and they don’t have to follow any rules.” And we think that parenting “style” should be equally encouraged and supported?
I mean, we all make slightly different rules for our own families (for example, an occasional soda is fine for my kids), but the idea here is that good moms set boundaries and enforce them even when it’s not popular. Can we really not agree on the fact that being your own personalized version of a “mean mom” – setting boundaries for your kids and doing what it takes to teach them how to do life’s necessary hard things – are actually the two foundational building blocks of good parenting?
Yes, each parent and child are unique and we can all do it differently and still do it equally well, but I do think there are some universal laws of good parenting, and that was the point of this post.
Joycr says
You said that so well. Thank you for making that statement about teaching and showing our kids to do what’s right, so clear. Thank you!! 😃
Vicki Smith Bracewell says
Absolutely
Marilyn says
A love is doing whats BEST for the other person.All moms are different, but the ones who stand firm against what’s culturally popular is a clue to the one’s who are committed to do what’s best in spite if that pressure. It’s a hard commitment to carry out. I did it raising four and so glad I held firm!
Puja Ohri says
Glad to read that someone out there is a mean mom like me !
Leanne says
Loveeeeee this so much!
Kandice says
Praise you momma, praise you.
Bashi says
100 % i agree i do the same ….
Charlene says
Yes girl…. the job does NOT require to be friends. It requires us to make great future humans. …
Lisa says
Thank you. I love it!
Tabatha says
Love this! I tell my son all the time I am your parent first and friend second. It is my job to make sure you are capable of taking care of yourself in life. If that makes me mean because I want you to succeed then so be it.
Analaura says
Thank you for writing this. Greetings from 🇨🇷
Paulina says
❤️ it! I’m the same way and it’s nice to see I’m not alone.
Theodora says
We aren’t mean to be mean, we are mean to help our children be kind, caring, and respectful people.
grace says
love it… i’m also a mom, sometimes my son scream at me for not giving in what he wants, because i know it’s not good for him,,, but i love him so much that even it hurts me to see him crying i wont budge coz i know it’s for his own good..
Vera says
I used to be like that’s especially with my first one but now I feel like Im giving up.☹️☹️
Sarah says
I feels u on trying not to give up! I have 4 kids and I’m sooo burnt out & depressed. I don’t always have it in me to enforce boundaries!! I struggle!!
Risa says
I have 4 kids and am having the same struggle and depression. I don’t have the energy to parent the real way this lists, but I give it my best effort and when I make mistakes I admit to them. I am human, not perfect and I want my kids to know that it’s ok to not be ok sometimes and it’s ok to ask for help.
Great Article.
I copied it down and plan on having my 16 and 12 yr old kiddos read this.
Stacey says
Thank you from a mean teacher.
Golly says
Yes I agree & your children will the few that will take responsibility for their actions & wont fold in despair when asked to do something new or hard. Well done you. Hats off to you. BTW im a Gran & my three daughters were brought up th d same & are all well rounded responsible citizens. Hoping they bring up their kids the same, so far so good.
Lusine says
Love this post, 100 % true for me too.
Sonia says
I’m the mean and worse mom! Thanks 🙋🏽♀️
Jessica says
I love this I am a mean mom. I get told that but I still give and show my child love. But also what him to know it’s hard and it not easy. But they have to learn
Elsie says
Awesome. Not enough of those moms around!
Kathy says
It’s hard to be the mean mom. I know it is necessary. And I hope my daughter will appreciate it when she gets older. But right now she doesn’t. It’s especially hard when you have all these easy going parents who let their kids do what ever they want. I do not so I am looked at as mean. And my daughter is a teen so she really doesn’t like me. But I know I’m doing all this for her good!
Alyson says
That puts you in the “best mom” category.
Salosh says
I’m a mean mum too😉. I’m old school. I don’t WA t to popular. What I want is to raise good little human beings. So hats of to us.
Salosh says
I’m a mean mum too😉. I’m old school. I don’t want to be popular. What I want is to raise good little human beings. So hats of to us.
Margarita Alonso says
Hi,I feel the same way my son says I’m a mean mom because I punish him.He even said he hated me and I told him I’m your parent not your friend at least,when you know they say they hate you we know we are doing something right.
Sandra says
I’m a MILITARY mom “mean mom” So if anytime I heard the word’s I ‘Hate’, or that person is ‘Stupid’or yr ‘Retarded’, the kids got an extra chore for the day..I DON’T WANT THOSE WORDS COMING OUT OF THEIR MOUTHS BECAUSE THERE’S ENOUGH HATE IN THE WORLD, I JUST EXPLAIN U CAN SAY I CAN’T STAND SOMEONE BUT TO SAY I HATE IS JUST NOT GONNA HAPPEN CUZ IT JUST GOING TO SPREAD AND THEN EVERYONE ELSE IS GOING TO THINK IT’S OKAY TO SAY HATEFUL THINGS LIKE SHUT UP STUPID, RETARDE..IF OUR KID’S ARE HANGING AROUND OTHERS AND OUR KIDS BELIEVE IN WHAT WE DON’T LIKE TO SAY OTHER KID’S AREN’T LIKELY TO SAY AND TALK LIKE THAT!
Vardah says
Loved this
Laura says
So glad I’m not the only one. It breaks my heart to hear my 4 yr old son, my first-born, say I’m mean.
Jennifer Aycock says
Our ways and heart sound exactly the same, sometimes it is hard being the strict mom but I do it out of love and wanting the very best for them.
Cindy Robertson says
I am a mean mom too and one day (hopefully) they will thank us xx
Colleen Eagan says
This is so true! 💙We are not the only ones who want awesome and responsible people in the world! My kids are amazing humans!!! But I’m not here to give you all that you want, or be your friend when your growing up, I am here to love you- give you what you NEED and be your friend when your grown and can HANDLE AND RESPECT that relationship!
Thank you for this! MORE PEOPLE💙💛 need to hear it! 😘
James carter says
Thank God for mean moms. We (society) really appreciate all your efforts, caring and love for those of us who don’t realize all tha y’all do!!!!!
Oli says
I love this
Delann says
I love being a “mean” mom, it just means I’m trying to raise respectful, mature, considerate humans and not deliquents😂
Cathy says
Well done.totally agree with you. I love my kids to the moon and back,but there are rules,and they respect you more.
Chelsea Persad says
You are awesome for blogging about this!! It takes mean moms to raise great kids to be great adults! It is only because of love we do this not because we are mean.
Jason says
Yes my mom was firm and stern to me! She was loving and nurturing but wasn’t scared to spank or give me corner time on my knees. She raised me to become the man I am today.
Bonnie marquez says
I believe that if u care and love ur kids u give them 1st-lots of love. Hugs and kisses and a bundle rules. Kids need structure and morals… And if both parents work all day ur kids should help by having shores also sports kids need exercise…
Jacque Lybbert says
My grandson says I’m the mean grandma for these reason
Cary says
And when they say to you “I hate you mommy”. Say gently in reply. “And I love you to my sweet heart”.
Ilakkiya says
Loved your article..😍
Claudia says
Love it 😍 glad I’m not the only mean mom!!
Liza says
That’s me too! A mean mom! For better future and best days to come! When they grow up they’ll know and understand , right now they need me to be strong and mean ☺️💪🏻🤟🏻🙏🏻❤️
Napolitano says
What if they hate you and say that the teacher doesn’t do this and that to them, that they are kind and on?! My 5yo does this all the time.
Stacey Gold says
Not gonna lie this spoke to me on so many levels! I loved it! 😭❤️
Lizzie says
I loved this and had to share with my son who onced told me “I’m a mean mom” in a kindly way of course. Because he knew I was not letting him have it his way. 😊 I agreed with him and told him I was a mean mom because I ❤️ Him.
Janet says
You are a great mom who is instilling real values and love. Beautiful kids. Hi
Amanda says
As I read this to my 5 & 8 year old daughters, they refused to believe I didn’t write this myself! My oldest replies “you’re the only mom that says “I love you to pieces” AND makes me take piano!””
Thanks for helping my kids see my realistic mean mom philosophy, when also filled with tons of love, is not foreign to other good moms out there.
Stacy says
How do you do all them things though? I’ve taken things away, I’ve screamed, I’ve cried, I’ve begged, I’ve done EVERYTHING minus beating the living daylights out of her & still my daughter will not do the things she know she’s supposed to do. I’m completely stumped….
Richard Jones says
It’s tough being a good parent sometimes.
Dicksie says
I was known as the meanest mother on the block when my kids were home. BUT I have 6 amazing grown kids who are all good citizens and contributing adults. I don’t think I would change a thing
Kelly says
Ridiculous. I had a mean dad and I ended up rebelling once I got to college so good luck with that! I am a nice mom of 2 children who dont get yelled at or hear the word no and they are good little kids.
Mean Mom says
Why do you need to wish anybody luck it’s worked for generations upon generations without anyone really rebelling , so what’s the problem now, why is it so hard for parents now! oh that’s right because instead of being a parent to their children they want to be their friends and as a result we have a generation of entitled and lazy bunch that when real life slaps them in the face their not going to know how to deal with it because their boss is going to tell them no for one reason or another and that’s going to be a foreign concept for them because no one else ever did , their land lord or mortgage company is going to tell them know when they had enough of them being late on payments, their husbands or wives are going to tell them no when they want to spend a ridiculous amount of money on a purse or a fishing rod just an example but it happens especially when someone thinks it’s ok to spend 500 on a purse that literally holds a bunch of stuff that a 12 dollar purse from Walmart can do again just an example
Lula says
I agree with you kelly. I’m a kind mum. I’ve never had to be mean for my kids to behave. My children are older now with values and morals. I have 3 successful beautiful kids who have never once said I’m a mean mum. Be kind everyone, it’s free.
Bobbie says
So you let them touch that hot stove burner when it’s on and get burnt, but hey at least they didn’t hear the word No! Don’t touch that, it’s hot! Seriously kids need to hear the word No. You don’t have to yell and scream but sometimes the word No is necessary. No you can’t go to that party where there is no adult supervision, No you can’t go play in traffic, No you can’t have cake for dinner or ice cream for breakfast. Explanations of why you say No are also important done with age appropriate wording. I tell my son No a lot and at age 9 he is adored by his teachers, people in public have commented on what a polite, helpful young man he is. I am raising him on my own as his dad, my husband, died when he was just 4 years old. You can be sure though that his Daddy said No to him too. I also have rules, boundaries, and he has chores. He once said “my friends get an allowance for stuff” I said your allowance is having a roof over your head, food on your table, and clothes on your back. The things you have for chores are things you need to know how to do to be successful when I am no longer around to do them for you. You are a part of the household and have things you need to do to help. That being said, if I have the extra money and there is something he wants, I will surprise him with getting it because he does do what he is supposed to, mostly without complaint. Loving our children enough to say No when necessary and setting boundaries is what helps raise our children into self respecting, mature adults. No luck needed!! I will say good luck to you though because although you say they are good little kids, I would be willing to bet teachers and others may not say the same and when they are teenagers you will have your hands full, but don’t say No to them or be “mean” because they might rebel?!
Destiny says
I think there’s a difference between this kind of “mean mom” and flat out cruel… my parents were next level mean and I was the same. I rebelled, and did everything they didn’t want me doing. Hearing “no” is good for children, especially when they’re really young and are learning the difference between good and bad, right and wrong. The difference is how mean you are. A more accurate term for “mean mom” would probably be “strict mom” because being labeled mean would be the situations you and I were raised in.
Catherine says
The whole bike helmet thing my nine year old wears his helmet every time he bikes because 1) if I find out he isn’t he will loose said bike for at least a week 2) I have taught him that protecting his brain is important he needs it and 3) a bike helmet is not because I don’t know how great he is on a bike but because there are crazy people who drive big cars and even other bikes who I don’t trust to keep his brain safe. Then for the nail in the coffin but the other kids at school don’t wear them I go back to the tried and true the other kids are not my job you are my job.
Teresa says
This is simply how MUM hearts are wired. We Love with discipline and we discipline with Love. I’m a product of a “mean mum” but I could not Thanks her enough for showing me how to love and be loved.
Love you Mum and my son is my precious pride!!!
Kelly says
Thank you for saying this! It’s easy to feel mean when you are actually just doing things that aren’t “popular” in society or with your kids! But I find that I feel “mean” mainly when I am around other women and our parenting styles differ, or with extended family members. If I’m by myself, I will often feel very peaceful about making tough decisions with the kiddos! So ladies, don’t let your own insecurity about being different make you compromise how you raise your kids! If you’re honestly trying to do the right thing and you know objectively what’s best for them, go with your gut 🙂
Elsie says
I can feel you Liz. My children doesnt like me because I always give them rules. Most of the time I say no to them. They even like their aunt (my sister) because she spoils them when I was away for a long time. But I have to change it. Im their mom and I will protect, care and nourish them even its like to be mean. Thanks to your letter.
Kim says
Thanks! Feels like I’m looking in a mirror. You’re singing my same tune. Glad I’m not alone.
Vicki McMahon says
Fantastic it was great to read and believe that I’m not the only mean mum
Marlene says
🙌
Dena Daniel says
I LOVE your thoughts about being a “Mean Mom” but it would be a bit easier to take if you said that you DISCIPLINE your children, rather than that you PUNISH them. Discipline is for their benefit, to train them in the way that they must go. Whereas punishment is to inflict suffering for the past behavior. I’m sure that most ppl understand that you don’t mean that you’re really going to punish them, at least I would hope that they would, but it would just be better for everyone to learn that there is a difference.
Marissa says
I agree with you I believe it is called tough love I am exactly the same way ❤️
Monique says
Love this just shared it with a mom who needed confirmation ❤️
Mycca says
When my son was 4 his friend called me mean. My sons reply was that his momma was not mean, she gets on to them and makes them mind so that when they grow up they’d be good people. 4 years old and my kid understood that I wasn’t just being mean to them, I was trying to teach them to be good adults. Proudest momma moment ever!
Kalinka says
My mom was like that and I love her today because of that.
My friends criticizes me for been ruff on my three years old and even on my one year old. My husband break my rules a lot and he is always asking to fixe after the results.
I love my kids and a no will not hurt them, but prepare them for life. And if they decide later that my rules were not helpful they will have a long life ahead to do whatever they want.
Spring says
I am a mean mom too! Glad to know I’m not alone because my kids sure think they are 🙂
Deborah says
Love this! I am a mean mom as well😊
Rosanna Jackson says
I feel like that too with my 2 kids but it’s a part of being a mom not there friend
Deborah says
I absolutely love this and “mean” means love because you care enough to make them responsible little people that will grow to respect others and you as big people.
Kim Byrnes says
That is awesome!!!
Sonia says
YOu aré doing what every mom should do.
My daughter is a mom line you.
My son is a principal at a school and he wishes parents would say “no” more often.
I was that Mom. Keep doing it!
Lindsey says
I agree… kids need this to be respectful adults. I get called I’m a mean mom lots. Well said!
Selena says
I loved this ❤️ the truth finally spoken for us mom’s that are a lil hard on are kids cause we just want to make sure best for them well everyone else thinks we’re being mean
Veronica says
Yep 👍🏼 am a mean mom. Oh well 😔
Anna says
Love it♡
Shannon says
I’m a mean mom too. But I want my girls to be self reliant. One day I won’t be here and I need to know they were given the chance to be who they trully can be. Today’s society does not promote rules or responsibility. I am not okay with that. My girls will know how to stand and own who they are. I also have the kids who people love to have around because they know how to follow rules.
Coulibaly Issa says
S’il y a trop de méchanceté aujourd’hui c’est parce que beaucoup de mamans sont restées trop gentilles avec leurs progénitures ! Elles n’ont pas su apprendre aux enfants les différences entre le bien et le mal ! Et ils ont grandi comme ça ! Voilà maintenant que le monde est resté cruel !
Tasha says
Take it from the mom of a well adjusted teenager, mean mommies are exactly what they need especially when they are toddlers. You set boundaries early, set expectations, and hold them accountable. They have no idea how hard being the mean mommy is. It means we put them first. Ahead or our comfort and convenience. I wish I had seen something like this 10 years ago. I was shamed for being the mean mommy but I knew we were doing what we felt was best for him. He’s now and honor role student, varsity football player and crews for drama. He manages giant own schedule, gets himself up, dressed and out for school by 6am every morning. Does his own laundry and cooks. He’s also a normal teenage boy who speaks grunt (if you don’t have teens yet beware!) and pushed boundaries and sometimes makes bad choices. But he talks to us and knows for every action there is a reaction, good and bad. I promise you it’s worth it.
Alison Simmons says
Hahahaha, YES!! To everything you wrote! I have 5 kids and I often find myself saying. “I know, I am mean mom. You’ll survive.” Perhaps this shouldn’t cause me to chuckle quite so much, but it is always nice to you know I am not the only one. 😉
Margarett says
You are good mom. I recently add my grandson come live with me. So I could use some good advice. By reading what you write. Thank you
Nicole says
Ok. Are you not going to tell us how you do all of that?
Looking for suggestions….
Kenny says
That is a perfect example of a parent or parents.
Viola says
So, sooooooooooo love this!!
As adults now, my children thank me for all those things!
As a teacher, I can tell which students have that at home and which don’t, at least not consistently.
Those things make ALL THE DIFFERENCE!
Rick O. says
I agree most of these are quality’s of a great and loving mother,however….. if your not teaching them how much Christ loves them, what He did for them and that He is the way the truth and the life, that no one comes to the Father except through Him… it is all utterly and completely worthless without Him!
Samantha says
So thankful I am not alone on this one. I am full time mom all the time.
John says
I am a famother. I am a dad who raised my kids. I raised my kids and they gave me that name. I used to punish if they stayed out past curfew. If they did not get good marks in school. If they cursed they got sent to their room. If they disobeyed me they spent days in their room with no TV or phone. That is the way it was when I raised my kids. I always helped them with homework, especially English and Math. They worked hard and studied hard and got good marks in school. It was tough, but I’d do it again in a heartbeat. Tough love is the best love.
RUTH BARBOUR says
My son knows I’m not his friend. He knows I do things he doesn’t like. He knows he is expected to participate in all the work as he is able.
My son knows my job as his mom is to teach him how to be an adult. He is learning budgeting, by being on 1% of my salary and paying 1% of the bills from that. He is learning cooking and baking and shopping. He is already good on laundry (by himself) does his homework without reminding, and even helps me with online bill-pay. He makes the shopping list, and it’s a very good list. He has a calendar just for himself, for upcoming events (like “mortgage due” or “school book fair”). Recently he broke something intentionally (we all get angry, he was angry). He is setting aside from his salary to replace it ($20, but he’s also got bills to pay).
My son is 8.
Kathy says
We need more mean moms like you. 💗
Kelly says
My boys often called me “the meanest mom on the block”. I found it funny because our house was always full of the neighbors kids. I am always proud of how my now adult sons carry themselves at social and family events.
Kelley says
I’m a mean Moma too! However I do let them drink Coke one daily. ANd we live in the country and do not wear a helmet while biking. 🤷♀️
Renea says
So much this!!
Raising humble healthy humans!
Nancy says
Oh my goodness , I had a neighbor who yes, I bragged that my 3 1/2 was not afraid of the dark was potty trained by 2 and loves Christian music . ( I guess she felt that she needed to destroy my parenting) I allowed my daughter at my neighbors house to play with her son , walked in and my daughter was wide eyed and the mother states “ohhh now we have to shut this off your mother is here ( she’s never said that to any other movie ( she knew I hadn’t agreeed nor did she bother asking me if my daughter could watch it It was the movie Chucky???!!!!!! Really ??????????? Needless to say I do NOT talk to her any more and she’s prolly going around telling lies to why we never talk to each other or hang out but wow !!! What nerve and the jealousy she must have had I mean her son still slept with her at the age of 5 would poop and pee in his diaper at age 4 and 5 I think she is the type to say her son is a wimp if he doesn’t want to watch a scary movie ( I’ve heard her talking about her ex husband like that and to have a problem with a man being too nice is ridicules ??? So glad I found out now rather then later whew!!!
Sheri says
They’ll love and respect you when they are adults.
Donna Parsons says
And my 30 yr old just called me that the other night and i thought of this and said thank you, consider it a compliment
Matea says
Very well said❤️ From a mean mom to another😘
Patti says
So very true! And I remember my parents saying how it hurt them worse than it did me. Now with a child of my own(13) I truly understand and love and respect my Mom and Dad even more!!!
Pam Werrick says
I’m an older mom, I had my one and only miracle child @ 40. My mother had 6 children she owned and ran a motel 24 hrs a day. We did what she said when she said to do it, not later. I was not as strict with my one child, but she knew to mind, or get her bottom spanked. Here’s a clue if you do it right the first or maybe second time you will very seldom have to do it again. People wonder why crime is so bad. A lot of kids have no couscous
They were never taught Gods word, they were not corrected until it was to late if ever. If you don’t teach them there are consequences for their actions, they grown up doing whatever they want to do with no fear of what might happen to others while they do what they want. Oh there are those parents who just want their babies to be happy. You are wrong, God doesn’t say make sure they have everything they want and have a smile on there faces at all times. If kids were taught to respect others, especially elders, law enforcement
There would not be as much crime. There are bad people everywhere, not a police are racist or bad people, but you keep teaching them not to listen to the police and you are why they are getting killed. My daughter is white and was stopped and told to get out of the vehicle and put her face to the pavement, She and two female friends complied. They were detained for about 20 minutes, friends driving by, they knew her car. It turned out three people, unknown sex or race had robbed a jewelry store and escaped in car same color and body style of the one leaving the scene. The police told them they were sorry, and thank you for complying and being respectful of there commands. My daughter and friends were 21 and from out of town. They were in Atlanta. The three police officers were African Americans. My daughter said mom you could tell they were not use to people my age complying with there commands. Respect
Lise says
… and make them eat healthy food, and say no to junk food!
Madiha says
I totally feel the same way…it’s so necessary for children to b a good person in future life… bcoz after Allah mom knows better about their kids
Victoria says
I think every mom is different and that’s ok
There are some things in this I agree with and others I do not Everyone parents differently and that’s ok
Tonyz says
Yes I Agree TOTALLY You are Awesome I Was A Mean Mom Too Love Them To Death And Now I’m A Mean Grandma
Geeny says
Thank you from a teacher. If more parents today had your frame of mind, classrooms would not be filled with disrespectful children who think we owe the world to them!
Amanda Gray says
This is truly me and my children. Thank you for letting me know that other’s are trying to raise decent human beings in this world full of ugly. God bless us all.
Debbie Bias says
Love this!!!
Grandma says
I’m raising 5 grandkids 16yo girl, 12yo girl, 11yo boy, 10yo boy, and 2yo boy. They always say I’m mean they all have 2 chores daily and 3 on the weekends, I don’t let them go anywhere or with anyone, they all go to bed at 8 pm. We live in a small town with lots of crime, I don’t trust anyone, there day starts at 5 am so 8 is a good bed time, and chores don’t kill anyone.
Jennifer Ward Andersen says
Amen. This is article is so true. As a mom, I fuss alot. In my own mothers words.. dont make me fuss. Your safety, and well being comes first. Life is hard no one ever said it was easy. We don’t get to have fun or rest or play all the time. We don’t get to make our own schedules or be pretend bosses. We go to real school, have real lives and yes thats hard. Every day at 6 or earlier, life gets hard. Months turn to years, years turn to decades. But we love just as hard too. I will have your dinner ready hot and on time. I’ll be there to take you to the doctor when your not doing fine. No delays no whys . I’ll wash your dishes and kiss your boo boo’s, no there’s plenty of time. Alicia Silverstones friend said, 24 useable hours in a day. I’ll fuss when needed, teach all the time, and give you all of me all my life. May the Lord watch over us and keep us safe. May he guide us through each and everyday.
Amen
With all my heart,
Jennifer Ward-Andersen
Chelsea M says
So cute!!! Sometimes I need to remind myself that it my JOB to do most of those things.
Claudia says
When my children were little, I would often hear the proverbial, “you’re mean!” Then they got even more angry when I replied, with a smile, “Thank you! That means I’m doing a good job!”
Sameera says
Love this….it’s ok to be “mean” though our kids find us mean most of the time which isn’t true actually…it’s mother’s love and care for their very own well being and one day they’ll realise it when they grow up and won’t find us that mean to them anymore 😊
Sameena says
I am the one ‘mean mom’. My kids do admit and keep telling me all the time. But iam their mom. Feel unfair sometime.
Sherry F. says
Thank you for sharing. I’m the same mean mom. Just hang in. We are very few in this world!
Namette Breeden says
Good job mom!
Keep on keeping on with molding and shaping your kiddos! It will pay huge dividends for them. I was a “mean” mom like you! Now my young adult sons are responsible, diligent, hard working and LIKABLE young men. Thank God for moms like you and thank you for posting his.
Susan says
Love this! Most parent today want to be their childs friend instead of being a parent.
Chantell says
Hello I can relate to this. I do all of this and I dont think I’m a mean mom and I have rules and we’ve come a long way with change
Leighana says
Yes! Bc I’m rasing little boys and girls that one day will grow up to be Women and Men. It’s my job to protect them and prepare them for this world. Even as tuff as I am sometimes i know this world will be tuffer than me, more critical than me, harsher in everyway more than me! I’m their Mom so I even when I’m being “mean” I’m still only preparing them for how Mean this world will be.
Joni Hamilton says
Love this!
Salina Grimaldo says
Nice to see other moms the same way! I love my kiddos but always what the best and for them to be their best in society.
Sherri Crump says
Thanks Liz! Brings back good memory and why we do what we do. My nephew was 6 months younger than I. Mom would always say, “I’m a mean moma”. It stuck. My nephew and niece, call ed her Mean Moma. To this day they refer her to that name. She wasn’t mean she just made us behave. Lol she was such a good mom.
Thanks for the memories!
Sherri,
Me and my nephew are now, 60 years of age.
Jenny says
Perfectly said
Robin says
Tough Brave and full of Love
Kim says
Exactly!
Chrissy says
I love this! My son calls me mean pretty much every day
Rebecca says
Love this. You’re an amazing mum who is raising decent human beings. Thank you for being the mean mum. I will also be the mean mum is well lol.
Karen Terry says
You’re a very good mom. Never let anyone tell ya otherwise!🤗
Leslie Davis says
Im this mom too but it’s not always easy. Especially dealing with teen daughters. The world makes it hard and I continue to do the right things but it’s tiring.
Carolynn McKinney says
So true, I’d like to read more or even submit my own if I’m allowed.
Nancy says
This is great….go on with yourself mean mom! Because you’re here to be their mother and not a best friend. Way to do your part to raise a good little human with boundaries & love!
Sherry says
You are an awesome Mom. Keep up the great work. They may hate now, but they will love you and know wjy in their later years
Brittini says
My son likes to tell me how I’m the meanest mom ever! Lol. I know he’s just upset because the stink isn’t getting his way. I wasn’t meant to be his lil buddy. I am his mom! Thumbs up to you, mean mommy!!
Kelli says
Love this
Mandy says
Amen!! I’m a MEAN mom!! I think we need more mean moms and not besties!
Judith says
I’m a mean mom too.
Samantha says
This is so true! #lovethis
Retta says
Your awesome. We have somehow let the children run the home and it’s time we take back the roll of mean Mom now before they become the person we can’t teach. Children somehow are not taught morals, etiquette, that loosing is character building. We have ended up with generations of kids who feel like they are entitled, working is a foreign word, or starting at the bottom and working their way up. We need to get back to being that mean Mom, that doesn’t mean you can’t also be the fun Mom but bringing up good people is more important than ever. Thank you for helping to remind women that. You totally rock!! 👏❤️
Brandi wagemann says
This is so true. Kids nowadays dont believe that we are doing it for their best interest. We need more parents like us to make the world a better place.
Amanda says
Love this
Kat says
Right on! Good job mom.
Hevan says
Im told all the time im to hard on my kids. By family and friends. And its even harder bc im also a bio mom and a step mom. Being a hard step mom is very hard. And people telling us im hard on the kids my husband is starting to buy into it and has recently decided that bc my family said it that we need to stop. They think they should be able to play and do what ever they want and i should make them be responsible for thier things or make them clean up after themself.
I know for a fact i wasnt allowed to do do what i want and make a mess for my step mom to clean and i turned out fine.
They are kids let them play dont make them do chores…
aww but momma just let them be…..
Thank you so much for this post it lets me know im not the only one and that its ok to hold my childeren to a higher expectation although an unpopular opinion now days is ok.
Renee says
You are remarkable!!
Bethany Burk says
Sometimes I feel like I’m the only “mean mom.” Love this so much!
Patricia Saillant says
Amazing 💙
Samantha Diaz says
I agree kids in general need more rules and discipline. I am a single mom with an 8 year old and struggles with rules and his dad not having, so when he returns home after his dads weekends its a battle. My boyfriends boys are teenagers and that’s a battle as well but everyone knows my house has rules and curfew. And yes I am always being called mean which doesn’t phase me. We are all just trying to teach our kids respect, discipline and rules that definitely exist.
Tricua says
Amen! I’m a mean. Mom too!
Tracy says
Awesome mom!
Marlene says
Love it
Marie says
Yes! I am that Mean Mom!
And I will add … When I tell you I love you, I Really Mean That I Do Love You!
Joyce Beaudry says
What I read here and in the comments is effective parenting. What I cannot endorse is caling it ‘mean’ – unless it’s meant in the context of “I say what I mean, I mean what I say and I do what I say”. Otherwise, to characterize parenting that looks out for the best interest of the child, physically, emotionally, socially and intellecturally as being mean, misses the mark!…………I would worry about the fine line between ‘meanness’ and abuse……………We should never ‘punish’ our children – we ‘discipline’ them and there is a difference…..When we punish, we do something ‘to’ the child – when we discipline, we do something ‘for’ the child- we show them a way forward, where there are natural and logical consequences……….My concern is parents who do not know the difference and who would take the concept of being mean to a whole different level…………..Congrats to all parents who act in the best interest of their children. ~ They deserve this for the valuable individuals they are! <3
Barbara says
That’s awesome for you. It takes a lot to raise children and I’m glad to hear it when moms care enough to take a stand.
Sandra says
Parenting today and the powers that be making laws preventing parents from disciplining kids is the reason there is so much juvenile crime. Kids have more rights than the parents it’s ridiculous. When we grew up we knew the difference between right and wrong and parents disciplined us and we had a great childhood.
Cash says
What’s life to a child if they don’t feel free. Once they grow up they will face challenges of life. When things might go south due to things beyond their control they will feel happy they had a fun childhood growing up. The freedom they had and the fun they had. Even in this article you remember how mean you are so that’s the memory that they will have of you and how tough their life was when they were young.
Kate Grim says
I thought it was interesting that you said we need more “smart mean moms”. Yet you listed things that you do as a “smart mean mom” that any mother with any common sense would do such as make your children wear helmets and read books, don’t let them drink soda or eat tons of candy, make them show up to practice when they are part of a team even if they don’t feel like it, don’t allow them to watch inappropriate movies. I hold more than one degree so I’d say I’m pretty smart, but those degrees didn’t teach me how to be a mother. I don’t think you have to be a mean mom to have kind, considerate, hard working children that grow up to be decent adults. But a little common sense goes a long way.
My kids have grown up with a silver spoon in there mouth. I’ll be the first to admit that. But they were guided with common sense and love and support. They take luxury vacations and lived in a big house and did lots of interesting things. But they are also straight A students and volunteer in the community and are kind, humble hard working individuals that are going to be perfectly fine adults. I think it’s great that you encourage parents to raise strong confident adults. But I think to say we need more “smart mean moms” seems rather condescending.
It wasn’t my education or success or finances that raised successful adults. It was my god given common sense and the support and devotion and guidance I gave my children. I didn’t need to be mean. I just used common sense.
I think there are ways to empower parents without insulting their intelligence. It takes more than being smart and mean to raise a successful future adult.
Sarah says
If I hear one more ignorant person say that kids should do without when they forget their lunch I’m going to explode. Let me ask you this “smart mean mom”… when you run out of the house and forget your lunch do you sit there all day and just go without? Or do you get in your car and run up the street and grab a sandwich? I’d be willing to bet you don’t sit there hungry. But you think you’re being a better mom because you let a child sit there and do without and be hungry all because he forgot his lunch? Isn’t it your job as a mother to make sure your child is eating regularly and properly? Children actually have a lot on there mind. They have school work that they have to get done they deal with peer pressure they’re tired from sports and activities and they’re dealing with raging hormones. God for bid they should forget their lunch. Anytime my child forgets his lunch he knows that I have his back and I will make sure he get something to eat because that’s my freaking job as a mother. So don’t get on here and brag about the fact that you’ll let a child sit there and go hungry because they forgot something that you’re responsible for providing them. Just like I go get myself food when I forget my lunch I will gladly take my child his lunch and I think he will be a perfectly fine adult because of it.
Making a child sit there and be hungry all day does nothing more then tell that child that you probably shouldn’t be a parent!
Sue says
Hi. Saying mean was creative, because kids tend to call us mean when they dont get their way. I’m grateful for caring parents like you! Makes working in a school less stressful!
Angel says
All Out of Love!!!
Tanya says
I was the same. I also rewarded good behavior. For example, every week after church, all 4 of my teens got money and a ride to the mall.
Live says
Lol that is funny my mom does do that
Kay says
Amen
Meranda says
My son is 16 year’s old. I’d do anything for him and my daughter that is 12. He has me labeled as “The No Lady” in his phone. So whenever I call him it goes across his screen the no lady is calling you. This is ok with me because my being that type of mother I know that he will someday laugh about it and understand why I was always saying no to him.
Myeshia says
I love this!! I too am a mean mom!
Sherry says
I loved and enjoyed your mean mom. I’m 57. And that’s how I raised my three as well. My Three turned out to be great responsible adults. My youngest my baby boy. Just turned 32 on fathers day.
Rebecca says
It’s how I did it and they are good bc of it
Margaret Chambless says
Even though my sons are now 25 and 22 they still are sometimes surprised that I say “ no”.
I am sure I can’t spoil them. Even now.
They are smart. Healthy. Educated. Extremely handsome…. And working!
Pay your own bills.
Brenda says
Love it Love it 😍
Ameeta says
If you want to call me a mean mom yup I am. I like to think I’m a responsible parent. I’m not a restaurant you eat what I make for dinner and you make an effort to try new foods and experiences.
You fall and cry I tell you you’re ok and you’re fine no excessive coddling. My son is 24 and I get complements on how polite and we’ll brought up he is so he’ll yeah I’m one and proud!
meg trigg says
As an older adult who was raised by a “mean mom”, THANK YOU! And I want to reassure you that one day they will realized that you loved them enough, to allow them to “hate” you.
Kim Harkness says
So agree with everything you said. To me that is not being a “mean mom” that is being a good parent!
Jennifer Skeen says
I would live to make a large poster of what you posted about being a mean mom. Keep up your great hard work.
Joyce says
I am that type of mom also. You r doing a good job.
Robin says
OMGosh, this is sooo perfect!!! I’ve been a single parent for the better part of 26 years the oldest turns 29 this year and the youngest will be 18 in October!! Now I’m “babysitting” my Grandkids they range from 6 months old to 6 years old!! The 6 yo often thinks she’s in charge and needs to be reminded that I’m the adult and while I will always and forever Love her I do not always like her behavior nor do I have to allow her to have everything her way!! I want to spoil them all but I would prefer to have well behaved, respectful & healthy Grandkids!!
With Much appreciation,
Mema (Grandma In German)
Evelyn Davison says
Many times I am called M.O.M. I wear this term with pride. Mean Old Mom lets me know I’ve done the best I could have to raise 4 very respectful children who have made me proud to be their Mother. All 4 have served or are serving in the United States Armed Services. I could not be a prouder MOM.
Natasha says
I Am…
A mean …
Parent too but kids might thank me for it later
Because I want my kids to grow up to be decent young adults 😉
Not everyone gets what they want in life and to be grateful for the things they do have x
Cena Woods says
True..but by being a mean mom, I have a respectful and responsible 24 year old son
Meghan says
I’m an aunt more then anything and my other half has a son, but I am this aunt/mom. I will always be this way, kids need the stability and need to learn that hard work pays off.
Love this post!
Maddie says
Absolutely beautiful and so true. Thank you for breaking the barrier that parenting styles don’t have to be lax but what works for you. I am a “ mean mom” and it works for me.
Lani says
I feel this every day right now!
Pam says
Best kimd of mom is one that is always there for the children and provides and protects and nurtures.
Joanne Packert says
Like this very much. my husband can learn to use the word NO more often. I’m the mean one…mrs.grinch
Ramona says
I do the same thing to my kids and later on in life, they will understand the “why?” questions. When we are mean parents is better educated and teaches them to be better and strong in their future.
Angela says
Love it!!!
Adre says
I an a preschool teacher of 4-5 year olds.
We play HARD
We dance our arses off
BUT HELL DO WE HAVE A STRICT DISCIPLINE POLICY
let’s be honest kids can be VERY VERY CUTE but also very very cruel
Here is my scenario:
I have these two very cute girls in my class they are so witty and I LOVE AND ADORE THAT – the one is witty cute the other is witty and with times very disrespectful- my observation the witty cute one always has a way of knowing that I AM STILL the grown up even if I’m their friend in class – the witty disrespectful girl has the ability to just talk to me sometimes like I’m one of the 4 year olds which idis totally not on – so should I now earn her respect? I’m sorry there is a line why does the one know where the line is and the other not??? I can tell you it’s the parenting skills – you can be a super fun mom with very strict rules I promise you your child will love you for it when they are grown up my mom is my best friend in the whole world but boy she was bitch strict and thank the pope she WAS because I know respect for all kinds of people and didn’t earn it I was taught THANK GOODNESS
Terri says
This IS the way to raise great kids. It’s the hardest job and the most rewarding.
Diane says
My boys called me Mean instead of mom!!
They are grown and became well mannered, hard working and wonderful adults! ❤️
Diane says
You’re doing it the right way! We have 30-year-old twins and a 23–year-old and I was the mean mom! And I’m so glad I was, because they grew up to be good, caring God-fearing men! Worth all the no’s and constant awareness of what they were doing ALL the time! It pays off!! Be their parent, not their friend! That’ll come later!
Uncle Dan says
That’s what MOM’S and hopefully DAD’S do. The hard calls.
Samaha says
Hi! Im all the way in kenya and read ur pc which i LOVED! Got my kids to read it too 😊
Mummy of 5 says
I am the same and I am HATED but I would do anything for them. It kills that no one else sees these things.
It not that we are preventing them from being kids, we are just preparing them for the real world. Additionally, we are not robbing them of their childhood either. But then again not everyone sees it that way.
Carol says
I was a mean mom to my now 32 year old daughter. She turned out to be a responsible, loving, contributor to society! Best part, she still loves and respects me. She thanked me for doing what I had to do to teach her how to live. I thank God for giving me the strength to do what I needed to do! So keep on being mean moms. The pay off is and worth it!
Bryan says
I think the main idea behind the article is great but an issue I see all the time is the the term mom is used when you could easily use the term parent. The positionality of the child raising world is seen as predominantly female/mom. Both my wife and I work but I’m a teacher. I get home at 2:45 and I’m the main caretaker. I do dance, soccer, HW, cook, clean and all the other things you mention in this article. My wife doesn’t come home until 6:45 most nights and even then I do bath, bedtime routine. Our world is changing, women are gaining more power and influence in a male dominated business world and as a result more and more men are taking on traditional mom roles. I would appreciate the effort by people in your situation to use the word parent instead of mom when appropriate. I get there are many times where gender/anatomy dictate certain things. I can not breastfeed or labor a baby. But I sure as heck can bottle feed and do anything else a mom can do. I know because I have, because I do, every single day. Thank you for your time.
Cynthia Rodriguez says
Your kids will thank you down the line and will become extraordinary human beings. Stay strong and know it will pay off. I’m proof of that.
Best,
Cynthia
Cathy says
#truth
Kayla Rose Graham says
I relate so much to this <3
Memere says
Sounds like you are doing your job, a very good one! Keep it up! Your kiddos will be better for it! <3 Beautiful children!
Amanda Grenier says
Oh I needes this. Thats me 100%!
Elaina says
I’m a mean mom.
I don’t allow any B’s on their report cards.
I don’t allow my teenage daughter to date.
I don’t allow my kids to have a job.
I don’t allow my kids to be mediocre.
I don’t allow them to go to a community college.
I don’t allow them to have a carreer, unless it’s a six-figure profession.
I don’t allow them to be a loser like me.
Cynthia says
I was a working mom and a mean mom too! Today I can say it was all worth it. My eldest son 33 yrs is a Periodontist and his younger sister (31 yrs) is an ER physician and I am very PROUD!!
Steph says
Love this!👍🏼 Kids need discipline, structure and boundaries…it makes them feel safe! You’re a great, loving, caring mom raising great, respectful, responsible children! Keep up the good work, they will love you for it, especially when they are adults!👍🏼❤️
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Mariam Ahmed says
I am a mean mom 😜 and I’m very proud of it 💕 it’s make me discipline my kids in my own rule 😉 it’s for their own future and good life soon! Even they think sometimes I hate them but I don’t forget to let them feel that I love them so much 🥰
Juliane says
I’m one of these. Yesterday my 14 yr old teen had me arrested as she cried Abuse and exagerated as she said I beat her (i pulled the broom feom under her bed and accidentally hit her arm). I was searched and thrown into a cell until i could speak to a laqer…i now await court in August…the day after I gave birth to her…and I still love her more than life…but my heart and spirit is broken… everyone is surprised as I am a very good mom…
Cora Lujan'Daldine says
You are doing the right thing. Raised 4 of my own and 5 step kids and they all turned out great. Even do t&e same with my 9 grandbabies.. Thank you for raising them the right way.. With respect and manners…
Amy says
I absolutely love this. My girls don’t have to like me all the time.
Michelle says
I wish “mean mum” techniques would work for
kids who are not neuro standard. So often, mums of such kids are portrayed as having indulged their kids, not enforced rules, or generally not having enforced “consequences “ to teach their kids.
Debbie says
Well you must be my “evil” twin because this is exactly the way I patented my children!!
Tammy says
I love this! I am this mom and looked down upon by some adults and that’s ok! I am doing what I know is best for my children and that is all that matters!
Diane Gomez says
I always tell my daughter she might hate me now but she will thank me later ❤️
April says
I’m a mean mom, too. I dont always like it, but I know it’s for the best.
Urmila Nabar says
I have been called a mean Mom by my kids. But it’s OK. I liked it..
Urmila Nabar says
Hahahaha, yes, I am mean Mom. But it’s OK. I liked it..
Heidi says
I only wish more young mom’s and dad’s
followed these rules. You will raise secure,loved,and empowered children who know what boundaries are about.
Excellent job!!
Emily says
Well done, Liz! From a fellow “mean mom”. #sorrynotsorry
Cassie says
Love this… going through some issues with my adult daughter who thinks I was a mean mom. I loved and protected by doing all the above. My heart is broken by her words.
Cheryl says
May I use this? It’s so perfectly written in a time which I feel as though I’m one of the few doing this!!
Dee Cedillo says
You don’t know how bad I needed to read this today! Thank you for making me realize im not the only one going thru this feeling.
Sara says
My three year old is constantly telling me I’m mean. For instance I’m mean because I didnt disconnect the string cheese wrappers from eachother when I handed them to her. Or when something as serious as her wanting to go in the pool alone.. sorry kiddo mommy wants ya safe.
CHEERS TO THE MEAN MOMMYS
Latanya Brown says
Exactly. We moms never stop
Laura Regan says
That’s awesome it’s harder when they become teenagers but your doing a great job with your lovely little children
Connie Kelley says
Amen!
Charly says
Brandi Foux has been the best Mom I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. She has been through some bad times and still be the strongest mom I know. Her babies always come first and if someone disagrees you can talk to me. I will let you know right quick. Yes she makes them mind and follow rules. That’s the only way you learn. If there was a best all around mom, she would definately get my vote. This is her Mother- in Law and proud of it.
Ashley says
My husband and I adopted a 17 and a 8 year old brother sister. The 9 year old is bullying because she was Never able to that to her bio mom. My daughter has been in foster since she was 3 years old. Im So lost besides that I know God is my protector of our relationship.
Theresa Williams says
Lol I’m a mean mom too 😊💕💕💕💕
Doré says
Good for you!!! I was also a mean mom, my kids had a bedtime right up until they finished high school. And yes, I enforced it. People today keep trying to shelter their children from everything and they are only making life harder for their children later. By sheltering them they are not learning how to deal with failure….and they will fail, that is life. They do not learn how to deal with stress….again something unavoidable in life. People need to start parenting again and remember that their job as a parent is to be their first teacher…and most valuable. I commend you on what you do, your children will love and respect you for it.
Cathmac6 says
I was a “mean mom” too! And now that they’re 14 and 16, I’m still mean. But we laugh about it. They know the expectations. They know the rules. And while they disagree often, it’s never a power struggle. It’s an opportunity for us to talk about the why. And for my husband and I (Mean dad) to consider the rules and edit where we deal reasonable. And best of all, I raised kids I like. I like spending time with them. They are good, responsible people.
cilou says
i agree
Kristin says
Thank you
Lauren says
Love This 💜
Jennifer says
This just made me cry. I feel like this everyday. Im constantly told im mean. I try my hardest everyday to do my best with my stepson. No matter how upset he makes me or how angry we get at each other i always proctect him make sure he is ok.
Nasreen says
Love it
D. Owen says
I followed these rules,,when they weren’t popular or consider mean, it meant I was doing my job, These days some, not all parents think that they need to be their childs best friend and as they get older they are often left to wonder why their young adults have expectations of instant gratification isn’t met, Also a sense of being owed what isn’t earned . These young adults are our future, hopefully we have kids still being raised with some rules.
Elma says
I thi k I wrote this!! My kids turned red pretty incredable!!Aunt
Val says
Yes thank you for this
B.J. says
👍
Angela says
You punish them when they don’t…. this breaks my heart. Discipline might have been a better term. Does your Creator punish you when you don’t “follow all the rules”. Quickest way to teach a kid that love is based on behavior. Just my thoughts
Cindy says
I’m totally the mean mom to. sometimes I feel that my neighbors think I’m to mean cause I’m sure they hear me out my open front door or the cracked window somewhere in my house. But what they don’t hear is the hugs and kisses and cuddles or just the 4 times before the yelling starts that I asked for something to be done.🤦♀️ Keep up the great work mama you say no cause you care.
Sunshine Dawson says
I love this that was my concept I always left them with someday you will look back and say thanks Mom
I at times felt like a mean mom
manni says
Yes this is me…. as my son has no discipline with his grandparents and then im told he needs help as his upbringing is poor… because he cannot do as he wants.
Does homework
eats without TV
puts his dishes in the sink
and not to mention nor walking in my house with food in his hand.
oh well im a shit mum… and what????
Suzanne says
I am this exact same mean mom, and now I’m looking at 14 and 17YO boys who are wonderful young adults.
Regina says
Well said I have be called a mean mom a bad mom and a number of other things but doing what I have to for my kids while being committed to my each of them makes it all worth it in the end . Voiding our the mean mom!
Roz says
I can so relate to this. And to top it off I’m grouchy Grandma. But, no matter what what. I love you.
Karen says
You are preaching so right …..I agree with everything g you say….I have teenagers and I’m a lot stricter than other moms. And I always tell my children I’m both their mom I’m yours!!!! My job is to raise you right, help you make decisions that you are unable to make, yes….and I will also yell you that this friend is not right for you and most of all I will always have your back! And that’s because I love you that much…..if I didn’t I could care less. And at the end of the day they always say….your the best…mom!!!
Terry Stewart says
Totally Agree!!
I am not my daughter’s friend
I am her parent!
My daughter’s friends do not like me cause they know that they can not get away with things with me! But my daughter is a good person who makes straight A’s and all the teachers love her!!!
Regena says
I can relate everybody calls me the drill Sargent mom.
Elise says
I love this!! I also don’t have a television so that they cant sit an watch it all day
kim Cooper says
good looking out, Sandy
Dee says
I was a MEAN SINGLE MOTHER…no candy, no soda, no call phones, no tv…and now they are in collge doing well. In retrospect I do wish I said yes more…tgere has to be balance.
Shealynn says
LOVE THIS!! #meanmomsrock
Melissa says
Well said! I agree completely! Bring on the “mean” moms!
Rachel says
Love this! Right there with you my friend! I identify with so much you’ve written here and thank you for it 💛
On being a mean mom, my kids are the only ones who call me that 🤣 One minute, I’m the best mom in the world. The next, they tell me they hate me or I’m a bad mom. In my own developmental journey, I’ve learned to respond “I’m okay with that” and truly mean it.
Other adults have criticized my parenting and called it too lax because they have different expectations of children then I do… and “I’m okay with that.” 😊
Great post. Thank you 💛
Allynn says
None of this is “mean”. This is common sense shit. Mean is when you beat a child black & blue for having an accident. Mean is finding out your daughter got raped & now you won’t acknowledge her as a daughter. Mean is forcing your son to run five miles because he missed a field goal at the state football championship.
Mec says
I do those things but don’t consider myself as mean just because I do. In fact, I consider myself a very loving, responsible, intentional mom for doing those things.
#WordsHavePower
Esther says
Hey love, thought you might really enjoy some good reading! I am a mom, a struggling mom, trying to adapt, trying to make those tough calls, always looking to learn, try new things, explore new ways of thinking. I reccomend “the concious parent” and “out of control” by dr. Shefali Tsabary. Absolutely transformative. Hard work, introspection, mindfulness, connection, and authenticity. Hope you take the time to give it a look, enjoy!
Esther says
I’m a concious mom
I don’t have rules, we have a way of life,
I aim for connection before correction,
We all do chores
I realize that as your parent I have to make some but not all decisions in your regard. Isay no when warranted, and offer in depth reasoning behind every decision,
I encourage an early bedtime and explain the importance of sleep for growing bodies,
I help empower my children to trust in their abilities to do hard/scary/challenging things,
I transport my kids to activities that interest them as individuals, without projecting my ideals of success or accomplishment, and respect their ability to know themselves enough to determine if they enjoy an activity or not,
Buckets of candy are not available in my house, we encourage moderation not over indulgence,
I read books with them, and on my own.
I help them study when they are stressed,
I provide safety gear, and explain the importance of this gear,
We don’t drink soda,
We enjoy age appropriate movies,
I can’t get them everything they want, yet, but we can set goals to obtain them.
We will not always be popular with each other. I may not always make the right decision, I will make mistakes, I will do my best to learn and grow.
I strive to love you every piece and part of you, just how you are, and who you are, without conditions. I’ll do my best to keep you safe, understanding that there is only so much within my control, pain will happen, and there is no greater teacher than pain. I will support you, and do my best to understand you, even when our egos clash. I will do my best to help guide you, and provide the tools you need, to find your own path in life, wherever that may lead and to let go of my fantasies of YOUR future.
By doing this, you may sometimes consider me “mean”, know that I am human, that I am not always concious to what the present moment is calling of me, but I am committed to being mindful of my presence, what I am bringing to every moment we share together.
Nohemí says
I feel the same.
But I love them 😍
Danielle Mayo says
I totally agree with this….TOTALLY! Amazing points are made here and the reason behind alot of our decisions we make for the best interest of our children. What many fail to remember is…..we are not here to be our children’s friends but to be there parent. It great to have a close bond with your child and feel comfortable talking to you about anything. I feel though if you cross that line and become your childs best friend it affects your childs view. They no longer see you as a role model or parental figure. Start to see you as nothing but a friend and loose respect for you as the parental figure.
Maggie RM says
I was a mean MOM ….. Period ! , we didn’t have bicycle helmets or did my children have soccer , had baseball basketball 🏀 n karate classes 🤙 I said NO a lot too
Punished all 7 when not following my rules , no bu jets of candy , did homework , household chores , great children I have !, learned a lot from what they were growing up in Honolulu KPT . All 6 of them have family of their own n are treated , sane way they were brought up ! 💙🙏
With their own children 🤙 most of my grandkids have awesome jobs , finished colleges in Florida , their own homes 🎉 3 cars each Famiky i owns , awesome life
They have , their parents are soo proud of their 👶 child , children 👶 with strict rules that had to be followed
Thanks 😊 to a Mean Grandmother, ME 😱🤙👍💙
Love My Entire Families , Proud of what they achieved n same with all my great grandchildren, They are my world 🌎/ Universe, I will still protect all of them from harm if at all possible n gjve my unconditional Love ❤️ Amen 💙
Fhern says
Yes Thats real mom is..
Todd says
Discipline is not something you do to your children, discipline is something you do for your children. Discipline, structure, and limits are what’s best for children. Children need to know they are not in charge and they are not on the same level as their parents or other adults.
Lara says
Very true… I am always the bad guy…
Colby says
I’m not my kids best friend. I’m ok if helping make the right choice makes them angry. My job is to love and make them the best person they can be.
Priscilla says
Love this! It’s very true! I’m a mean mom too! Lol! 😁 I must admit it’s hard at times!
Angela says
Thank you. I so needed this today. I too, am a mean mom and get told that daily! I just respond “Yep, I am and I work hard at it because I love you.”❤️