Let’s talk about the 7 kinds of Moms who are completely screwing up their kids and making all the good Moms a little crazy, shall we? (Make sure to scroll all the way to the end.)
7 Kinds of Moms That Make Me Crazy
1. The “Stop Running Around the House” Mom
It’s late in the afternoon, maybe early evening, and Mom is absolutely unloading on her preschoolers to STOP RUNNING AROUND THE HOUSE, or else. Sure, they’re behaving like tiny inmates who’ve just dug their way out of prison, Andy Dufresne style. And sure, Mom is exhausted and deserves a little peace.
I get it. But, if I had a nickel for every time I’ve watched a Mom lose her religion over “wild” kids AFTER I’ve seen her give them a stack of cookies or (gasp) a sugary soda, I’d have at least enough change to buy a week’s supply of Ben & Jerry’s.
2. The “Screaming” Mom
Just don’t. Really. Just don’t.
3. The “Just Because My Child Sees It Doesn’t Mean They’ll Do It” Mom
Little Bobby puts his brother in a choke-hold and Mom puts him in timeout – again. Most people might think the kinds of games & apps on Bobby’s tablet could have something to do with it. He loves to play “fighting” games. Mom doesn’t agree, though. “He knows the difference between right & wrong.” Tell that to the American Psychological Association.
4. The “Stop Being a Baby” Mom
Long after they’ve left the diapers behind, kids do all sorts of things that could be seen as “baby” behavior. Maybe they’re afraid of the dark, or of sleeping alone in their bed. Sometimes they may wet their pants or refuse to say words correctly.
Talk to their doctor if there are behaviors that are truly concerning to you, and then maybe cut them some slack for minute. Being a relatively new human is not easy – which is exactly what your kids are.
It’s hard to remember all the rules, Mom. I’m new here.” — My (then) 5-year-old son.
5. The “I’m Going to Threaten You If You Don’t Pick Up Your Toys” Mom
For as long as their have been toys, Moms have been threatening kids with every method of legal torture in order to get them to pick up. How many more decades will it take until we figure out the problem is not the kid. The problem is us and our need to feel like great parents who give our kids everything.
If I asked you to count how many toys your child has, could you? Probably not. I’ll hazard a guess for you. TOO MANY is the answer. You can’t give a kid unfettered access to all of the toys with the expectation they’ll turn into a 35-year-old professional organizer when the fun is over. Keep fighting this battle if you want, but I kind of think it would be easier to box up 98% of the toys and rotate out no more than a few at a time every week or so.
6. The “Clean Your Plate Or We’ll Sit Here All Night” Mom
You have to stop. The Clean Plate Club is a thing of the past because (thank goodness) researchers have proven not only that it doesn’t work, but can in fact lead to some really troubling issues later on in life. (source)
Make healthy food for them, turn off the TV while they’re eating, model good eating behavior, and then let them eat – or not. What if they refuse? They’ll learn that in just a short time there will be another meal coming up and they’ll have the chance to fill their tummies then.
7. The “I’m Superior When I’m a Bully” Mom
Bully Moms break my heart and they are the real reason I wrote this post. Bully Moms write know-it-all blog posts (like the one you’re reading now) to point out what they see as others’ faults and shortcomings in an effort to boost their own Mom-esteem. They leave comments on blog posts & social media shares (like this one) that are so hate-filled, I personally find it terrifying.
THAT’S WHY I WROTE THIS POST. I didn’t write it because I’m some kind of parenting authority who knows what’s best. (My two grown children would have a LOT to say about that, I’m sure.) Let’s just say my kids probably grew to be such awesome adults IN SPITE of me, not BECAUSE of me.
I wrote it to call attention to just how easy it is for women to sit at a computer and make life so much harder for other women. Like anyone with internet access I can make blanket statements and generalizations, I can be the decider of what is right and wrong, and I can write with self-proclaimed authority about how awful Moms are who don’t do it exactly the way I have decided they should. Who am I to say if you give your children 274 toys for every birthday that you are wrong? The answer is, I’m nobody. I’m just a chick with a computer.
Think you’re not a Bully Mom?
If you’ve ever typed something like, “I feel sorry for your kids,” or “I let my kids X,Y,Z and the fact that you don’t proves you are a bad Mom,” or “you don’t deserve to have children,” as a comment on a post, you’re probably a Bully Mom who is presently firing up your fingers to tell me what kind of terrible human I am for writing this post.
Listen, I won’t say, “Being a Mom is HELLA hard,” because if you are one, of course you know how true it is. (Okay, so I said it.) Every Mom has her own style, her own way, and I believe (for the most part, anyway) every Mom is doing her best.
As a Mom you make mistakes. You’ve totally let your kid eat a cookie before supper. You change your mind on what is and isn’t okay for your kids to do. Sometimes you may have behaved in a way you are sorry for later. You have said things to your kid you would give a million dollars to take back. You make a big deal out of something one day, and the next you are too tired to even try.
If you’ve never done any of those things, please reach out to 1-800-REALLY? and give them your location. Expect a camera crew and a tiara.
When I was a Mom the internet wasn’t what it is for Moms today. I don’t think I could have survived if it had been.
You 2015 Moms? You’re bombarded with images on Pinterest about what a fairy-tale mother looks like, and you are instantly defeated because you know with certainty your kids will never learn science thanks to your failure as Mom to create a glitter tornado in your bathtub.
Is being MEAN to other Moms really going to make you a happier, better Mom for your children? Maybe we could dial down the nasty just a touch. See what that’s like.
So tell me, have you encountered a Bully Mom? How did you handle it? What’s YOUR opinion on why Moms turn mean online?
Oh and by the way, my daughter is 31 and still won’t eat her vegetables. I’m pretty sure my Clean Plate Club dinner time trauma caused it. I have only myself to blame when she develops rickets. She also ate too many Oreos, wouldn’t pick up her toys, and she once dropped a brand new baby she was allowed to hold RIGHT ON HER HEAD and didn’t even say she was sorry. In other news, she turned out just fine and grew up to write a blog called Love & Marriage.
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