I wish the internet had been a thing when I brought my newborn daughter home from the hospital back in 1984. I would have been all about learning these (really cool) things science could have explained to me about tiny humans.
Unfortunately internet magic hadn’t yet reached Ft. Knox, Kentucky and computers were still the size of Ford trucks, so I did the best I could. I dressed her in cute clothes, made her eat food she hated so she wouldn’t starve, took her to the doctor every time she threw up, and pretty much stayed awake for five straight years until I was certain she could breathe without me reminding her to. #ExcellanceInParenting
You’re so lucky, Mom of the internet age!
Things Science Knows About Your Kid
- Your baby might make you want to eat it. “That baby is so cute I could just eat him up,” is something you hear often when their is just too much cuteness. Turns out there is science behind what makes us want to pinch chubby cheeks, squeeze a baby tight, or playfully nibble little baby feet. It’s a phenomenon called dimorphous expressions. If you are a Mom who cries during a particularly happy moment in a movie, you probably have it.
- A one year old can predict its adult shoe size. Okay, so your baby girl isn’t going to pull you aside and tell you that she’ll wear a size 7 when she’s 18, you can approximate that at age one her foot is half the size as her adult foot. Armed with this knowledge, wouldn’t an amazing 18th birthday gift be a pair of Christian Louboutin heels you bought for her now?
- Toddlers are vocabulary machines. Around the time they turn 18 months a toddler adds about one new word to their vocabulary for every 1 to 2 hours they are awake.
- Your child really is a star. Every single atom in your kiddo’s body is made of the exact stuff that makes the stars. PS: same goes for you.
- Kids are natural born smart eaters. Babies brains signal them to eat when they’re hungry and stop when they’re full. Unfortunately parents come along and start pushing the “Clean Plate Club” or “Eat Right Now Because It’s 5 o’clock Club.” That’s unnecessary and detrimental, say researchers. Make healthy food available, model good eating behavior, and get out of the way of your kiddo’s internal signals. They’ll eat when they’re hungry and stop when they’re full.
- Their nose may be the reason they don’t always hear you. If you’re concerned that your kiddo is having trouble hearing you when you call their name, it may be due to what’s going on with their little noses. If they’re stuffy from allergies (or they’ve shoved a toy soldier up their nose), it directly affects their hearing.
- Your son’s imaginary friend could beat up your daughter’s imaginary friend. Research suggests a boy’s imaginary friend is better at things than he is, while a girl’s invisible BFF is typically not as skilled or talented as she is.
- A 5 year old can probably manage apps before she can tie her shoes. It isn’t necessarily good news to learn that tech skills are often replacing life skills in our kids.
- Two sisters probably argue more than a brother & sister. There is evidence to suggest same-sex siblings experience more sibling rivalry because they often have to share more. (Think toys, rooms, etc.)
- You may have made your kids color blind. Color blindness is usually a hereditary condition you are born with, and the majority inherited it from their Moms. While you probably aren’t color blind, you could very well be a carrier.
So, in your experience of having kids do these things ring true? I’d love to hear your thoughts – unless you’re an internet meanie mom. In that case you should write all your thoughts on college-ruled paper, pop it in an envelope, and mail it to IMM Corporate HQ where a team of robots works round the clock to read each one carefully.
You deserve to (and truly can) thrive as a mama. The Organic Parenting e-course is unconventional, deep, personal, spiritual and powerfully effective.
Sher Bailey is a writer in the Midwest who believes the power of humor, Mod Podge, and grandkids can fix most problems in life. You can find her at SherBailey.com.