Since the premiere of MTV’s new reality show, 16 and Pregnant, I have been completely sucked in. I don’t know if it is the journey through young pregnancy I’m draw to or just my desire to drown myself in anything pregnancy related. Either way, I’ve watched every episode.
What has bugged me about this show though, is that I felt like the purpose of it should show how truly difficult it is to be a teen parent. Instead I felt like they almost glamorized it. None of these kids ended up living in big houses with white picket fences and drove a Mercedes, but for all of them it all worked out. It had that theme of, things are hard but we work through them and it all works out in the end. Giving the message of yea, it would be hard but its not like I couldn’t do it.
All of the aspects that would probably intrigue a teen are there. Get your own apartment? Check. Drop out of HS and finish up online? Check. Or drop out of HS and do nothing, just hang around the house? Check. Get engaged? Check. So let me get it straight… if I don’t get pregnant I stay in school and go to college (which I know to some sounds like perfection). OR, I can get pregnant and get to quit school and have my family support me? To many girls that sounds like a plan.
All of the episodes, in my opinion were this way. Until Thursday night. Thursday’s episode followed the first couple out of 6 that decided on adoption. Did anyone see this episode? It was a young couple, the mother was 16 and I’m not sure of the father’s age. They lived in a little town and both had rough childhoods including a father in and out of prison. They had no money, no jobs and most importantly no family support.
These kids were wise beyond their years. They knew that the best life for their child would definitely not come in the household they were currently in. They knew their child would suffer, be tied down, be unhappy. So they met with an adoption agency, chose a wonderful family and made their decision. Their family however, was furious with the decision. I couldn’t imagine a good mother watching her daughter go through this and not support her with everything she has. They made statements referring to them not stepping up and doing the right thing or that all a baby needs is love. They even started buying baby clothes and furniture to help lure them away from adoption. It was absolutely insane to me. Here are these 16 year old kids trying to convince old, warn down grandparents the reasons for not bringing that baby into their unstable household.
It was a very emotional episode and I cried on more than one occasion, full on crocodile tears. I think if a teen is going to watch another teen go through pregnancy it’s this that she should be watching, not the ones that get cute apartments with brand new furniture.
Sher Bailey has been a dedicated voice for the Love and Marriage blog for over a decade, sharing practical advice on everything from stretching a grocery budget to finding the best homeschooling resources. She writes from the unique perspective of a full-time traveler, living and working on the road in her motorhome alongside her husband and their two cats. Sher’s diverse body of work is fueled by her belief that with the right tools and a little creativity, any challenge can be turned into an opportunity for growth and adventure.
Laura says
I have been addicted to this show too. I haven’t seen the newest episode yet, but I thought it looked like the most interesting one yet.
Jennifer says
I watched it to and I completely agree with everything you wrote!! I was actually getting mad at her mother and worried she was going to guilt her into changing her mind. Thankfully for 16 year olds they were mature enough to not be swayed.
Jonezy says
I just caught it last night online, it was a very emotional episode. I couldn’t imagine how hard that was–the adopting family did seem like kind people–I hope they really are.
Jessi says
I watch every episode too.
The episode this week had me literally sobbing.
They were abosolutely wise beyond their years. The pain they went through to give their child the best life possible hurt me just to watch. Yet it is a beautiful thing that they did. The show just really got to me this week.
The parents WOW! I could not believe they were so upset about their child giving the baby up for adoption. You could tell they were very unstable and mature though!
Meagan says
That is horrible…I have never seen the show. But, that is a decision the parents should have let the teens make. Because it is one they have to live with for the rest of their lives. SO sad
Annie says
I watched it too and bawled! I felt like that girl was so sweet and didn’t deserve being treated so bad for making the decision that was best for her. Don’t miss the follow-up episode next week.
devin's mom says
I’m addicted to this show too and watched that episode with tears too! I could not believe their family and how horrible they were being. Here you have these 2 young kids getting ready to have a baby and actually being an adult and deciding to put that baby up for adoption and their family tells them its wrong. So sad.
a H.I.T. says
I think this show totally glamorizes teen pregnancy. My mom was pregnant and 16 and while her parents offered her support (she and her bf ended up getting married, moving out, etc.), that doesn’t mean her life was by any means easy.
I felt like the show really passes over most of the hard parts – like the reality of having a baby at 16 after the pregnancy.
Brown Girl says
Oh my gosh, I watched that this weekend and literally cried the biggest tears watching that episode. Those kids are so strong and smart!
Annie says
my bestie and i watched that last episode too, we were crying like babies. they were so very wise for their young age and they seemed so perfect together! i wish their parents would’ve been more supportive for them. i felt so bad for them.
p.s. new follower 😉
Jen says
I was flipping through the TV Guide on my FiOS box and saw that this episode was going to be on a couple of nights ago, after I’d read this post, and I watched it. I, too, sobbed throughout and was amazed at the maturity of the birth parents.
Shoshanah says
I was pretty much addicted and cried most of the adoption episode.
I do agree with you a little on the first part of the post though. I don’t know if you watched the reunion show or not, but all of the girls pretty much tried to say it was glamorous. But one of the girls made a comment to the one who gave her baby up, something along the lines of “You could have done it. You could be one of us.” And while I do thing she meant it in a positive way, I didn’t really come out that way for me
Dani says
I totally agree! I cried too! Those two kids were the smartest, strongest ones out of them all! I can’t believe their families didn’t support them. I really, REALLY hope they know what a great, selfless decision they made for that little girl!
Anonymous says
Being that I was a teen mother when I placed my son for adoption, I know exactly what they felt and heard.
Placing my son in the arms of another woman broke…no shattered my heart into a million pieces, but I knew that it was for the best. Still to this day hearing him call her ‘mommy’ or him ‘daddy’ stings worse than rubbing alcohol on an open wound.
My biological father’s side of the family, made me feel, well worthless in a sense. I was told that I was “no kind of mother to be giving my son away”… When the ironic part was, that I have not one, but two adopted aunts, one of which is hispanic.
Placing my son was by far the hardest thing that I will ever have to face in my lifetime. But I don’t regret it for not one single moment.
He is happy. He is loved more than he will ever know. And most of all I was able to make a couples dream of being a family come true.
But in the end, I am proud to call myself a Birthmother and are happy that my little one is even happier, even if that mean seeing him grow up in pictures.
Kudos to the Birthparents for stepping up to the plate and making sure that their little one’s have a happy life.