Answered prayers

A few weeks ago I wrote a post that I never finished up called “How we’re doing” about how we were coping with the transition to working different shifts.

“I really tried to train my brain that he was going to be gone and that I would be okay, but the minute his car left the driveway I cried. At that point I didn’t feel scared about being alone, I felt sad that he was leaving our routine to start a new one. One which involved him installing seat belts in the middle of the night while I was asleep in the bed he should be tucked away in. I felt completely overwhelmed, unequipped and inadequate to have my shit together.”

That week I started in on a job hunt for Guy, determined to find something that paid just enough so he could leave his job and take the buyout that Ford has been offering. I prayed that I would find something, anything. The very first morning, after doing lots and lots of monster and career builder searches, I checked with my employer. And there it was on my screen, what I thought would be the perfect “out” for Guy. My heart sped and my mind raced and I envisioned quickly the ways that our life would be different. I could have reached out with both hands and kissed the computer screen. Muah! Look at you, you cute little job opening, you!

One step down but many more to go… get an interview, prepare for an interview (something Guy hasn’t had to do in over 8 years), get a job offer, and make the final decision of yes, I will quit my job of 8 years to take a giant, dinosaur size leap of faith into this one. We were so very lucky to know people that work for this company and more specifically, for this particular program. We had several people be very kind to us and stand up and say yes, he can do this job and do it well.

This job takes his drive down from 40 minutes to 10 minutes, it puts him back on day shift (permanent day shift), he is not on his feet from start to finish, he is in a building with air conditioning (oh sweet, lovely air conditioning), and this job allows him to use his brain and not just his body. It’s just what he wanted except for one thing: it’s a pay cut.

Guy and I could have made it through night shift. We could have made it through any shift. It isn’t easy or fun or enjoyable in any sense of the word, but we would have done what needed to be done because that’s life. But what if it doesn’t have to be life? What if someone offered you a job that, albeit pays less, is just what your family needs? It gives you the life that you want not that you just happened to get. What if you can stop telling your wife goodnight, I love you, via text message? I would take that choice, and that is what he’s doing. Taking that leap and hoping he has made the right decision. Hoping our family will blossom because of it, and that he will find out that yes, this job was made for me and opened at just the right time for me. No looking back. No regrets.