When I was younger, I thought I would have four or five children. I came from a family of just two kids and big families always interesting to me. I wanted girls and boys. I wanted my daughters to have sisters and brothers and my sons to have brothers and sisters. That was the ideal family to me.
When I met my husband, I was excited that he wanted kids too. Lots of them. It was perfect.
We got married when I was 23 years old and waited about 18 months before we started trying to get pregnant. We had our first son in 2004 and then our second in 2006. That was when I knew. I only wanted one more child. I only wanted three kids.
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In 2010, we had our third little boy and when he was born I knew in my heart he would be my last baby. I don’t know the future but I knew that I was complete with my three boys.
My husband was in the Military and gone a lot of the time. I couldn’t see having a big family since this was the case. Keeping up with three boys was all I could handle. Even that was difficult most days. I know others have done it, but I knew with my personality, three was all I could handle.
I also knew I wanted more than two children. Three started sounding like the perfect number to me. We could still fit in one car, we didn’t have to get more than one hotel room and I know feeding three teenage boys in the future will be a challenge all by itself.
The feeling with being done with children is an interesting one. It is something I think most mothers feel once they have hit that number. I have friends who have felt this way after one child, after four and after five. I even have friends that knew they never wanted children to begin with.
Moms just know. We know when we are not done. We know when someone is missing. We know when we are done having children.
I know this when I see a friend with a new baby. I know I am no longer planning ahead for that part of life. I remember when my boys were that small and I think about how someday in the future my own children will have babies of their own.
Before I had my third baby, I knew I would have another one. I could feel it. I knew my two boys would have another sibling. I knew that we would be a family of five eventually. I knew that I was not done with my pregnancy and newborn days.
After he was born, I didn’t think this way about having a fourth child. Sometimes I wonder what life would be like if he had a forth but it doesn’t go beyond that. I don’t feel like anyone is missing at our table.
If you are struggling with if you should have another baby or not, you most likely are not done having children. Those of us that know we are done don’t really struggle with that decision. We know. We know that we were meant to have the amount of children we have, we know that our family is complete.
My youngest little boy is five years old now. Strollers, newborns, diapers and how to feed a baby are all in my rearview mirror. Those days seem far behind us now and with each year, I know that we made the right decision stopping after three kids. I know I can be a good mom to these three kids.
What about you? How did you know you were done having kids?
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WAHM with three boys, two with special needs. Loves to read, write, social media and to drink a nice cup of coffee.
I knew that after my second baby I was done. I love my first because she is my first and I love my second child because she is my last. That is all the love I could afford to give. Hubby and I were not sure we wanted kids. Then when I had my first I knew I needed a second child. Life feels complete and although I think of a third in reality I know deep in my heart that I would not be able to handle it. Like you said you just know.
I knew after my second that I wasn’t done.
My husband felt finished, but I knew my body needed to carry another baby. I even remember saying that I felt like someone was missing…
I had my 3rd baby, and he is such a special little guy. I feel complete now.
I wouldn’t “try” for another baby, I wouldn’t hate it if I got pregnant, but I am also happy if my hubby decided to get the snip. I don’t feel like that extra soul is missing from our dining table
Your body NEEDED to have another kid?what?was it like on a mission or sth?😐well mission accomplished another HUUUUGE step for the humanity congratulation the human kind will bow before you forever because you had your third baby
Before our third my husband and I, both came to an agreement that three will be our last one…. Well during my pregnancy I felt unsure and was overwhelmed with a heavy sad feeling every time we said ” this was our last”. It became worse after delivery! I decided to stop fighting these feelings and admitted, that I knew our family wasn’t complete.. Well long story short #4 is here and I know looking into those little eyes, We are complete and this chapter in life is done/complete! And I can say that with a warm satisfied smile ?
For my husband and I, we both knew 3 kids is enough for us to handle. The first two babies are boys and i had my little girl last 2 years. For me, l love babies but im done with pregnancy and all that. Its time to us to nurture and raise the 3 kids the best we can.
I guess another topic to touch on is when you know you want to have more children and you know you cant. I was told after about two years of trying to get pregnant that there was an imbalance in my body. The chances of me having children was very slim. It broke my heart. All I ever wanted was to be a mom and I knew I wanted two children. My husband wanted two children also. I let about a year go by and got a puppy. She helped fill part of the void and failure I felt. Two years to the day that I was told I wouldn’t have children, I knew something was off with my body. We were on the same family camping trip we took every year. I took a pregnancy test in the middle of the woods, and what do you know…. miracles do happen. Two years to the day of having my hopes smashed, I found out I was pregnant. I now have a thriving, wonderful, energetic little terror who I absolutely adore. We have our days, as most moms with toddlers do, but I wouldn’t trade him for the world. I still wanted two kids. My husband, after having our son has decided he doesn’t want more kids. He did not handle the baby phase well. For the sake of our marriage and family, I am abiding by his decision. I was retested, the doctors done understand how I got pregnant with my son, and they still don’t think I can have more kids. A small selfish part of me cries inside when friends and family tell us about their pregnancy. The loving and supporting part of you shares in their happiness. The mother in you that always wanted more than one child cries a little each time but you stuff those feeling down where they wont be shared and move on. I am thankful for my blessing. I am thankful for my family, but for those mothers like me who always wanted multiple children and who have had a hard time conceiving, a small part of you hurts. I am having a hard time letting go of my sons baby cloths. Everyone keeps telling me if we aren’t going to have more children then get rid of his crib and cloths. Part of me holds out hope that maybe, someday, my husband will change his mind, and the universe will work in mysterious ways, just once more. The other part of me says, you know, my family has a good balance. Maybe it’s time to just move on. Time will tell.
My heart goes out to you as I feel the same way – hard to get rid of anything. I was able to give birth to a beautiful boy, who is now 4 years old, after 9 years and 6 rounds of IVF. We went through a ton and my husband is just not ready to go through a all of that again – the heart break, the physical trauma (he also had 3 surgeries) and the money. My heart still longs for a baby even though the reality is very slim to none. I know that God has a plan, I just don’t know what that is right now.
I also am a mother of 4 and one is in Heaven. Our first 2 apart and our little Angel was born 6 years later. Our 4th was born 2 years later. I love my boys with and have loved watching them grow into men. They are 32, 29, and 22. Our Angel is 26. It is so sad for time to pass so quickly and they are grown before we know it. Thank you for giving us such wonderful children. They will always warm my heart. ❤️