This morning Brady and I were listening to the music channel and I was making silly faces and singing to him (which he thinks is so much fun). I have yet to give any thought to what words he is exposed to since he is still an infant (except limiting my own cursing) until Eminem’s new hit with Rhianna came on and I found myself singing:
“…if she ever tries to f*cking leave again I’m gonna tie her to the bed and set this house on fire”
Whoa. Probably not the type of thing I would want him repeating, right? Even though I don’t have to worry about that quite yet, and he has no idea what I just said – just that mommy is making noise – it felt very wrong.
When I was young my mom would filter out any and everything she deemed inappropriate by listening to music before we bought a new CD, or throwing one away if she didn’t approve (which is what happened to my TLC Crazy Sexy Cool CD). To this day there is still no MTV allowed in her house. My husband on the other hand had basically no restrictions in that regard . Both of us I believe use/used the same amount of bad words and if any one got in more trouble or was more disrespectful to their parents it was definitely me. Was my mom’s discipline a basic waste of time?
I think it is not at all realistic to think you can keep your child from hearing/seeing/doing/thinking things you don’t want them to. That doesn’t mean that your rules are a lost cause because they aren’t, but I think what is probably the most important part of the entire thing has nothing to actually do with the filtering.
It starts with raising them as kind, respectful people before they even understand lyrics. Its teaching them that you speak to people kindly and treat them as you would want to be treated. Others may not choose to live that way but you are not everyone else. I’d like to think if you spend your efforts on those fundamentals that if they heard something similar to the above it wouldn’t influence them, maybe they would even make the choice to turn the channel.
I hope to raise Brady in this manner, but also including setting a good example by limiting those things from my own life. I’m not sure how I can expect to grow a kind boy out of a house that has an abundant amount of profanity and harsh words. Certainly not from a mother that sings a song about tying someone to the bed and then setting the house on fire.
(Side note – how ironic are those lyrics in the content of this news story about that poor family in Connecticut? Do you think the men responsible were inspired by his song??)
Do you all filter the music your children listen to?
Sher Bailey is a writer in the Midwest who believes the power of humor, Mod Podge, and grandkids can fix most problems in life. You can find her at SherBailey.com.
Kristen says
yeah, my upbringing was completely different than my husbands but we are both good people and have good values. I think we’re gonna do an amazing job with raising our boys!
Kelly @ The Startup Wife says
Hi, just found your blog. 🙂 I don’t have kids, but I appreciated this post! For some reason i spent a lot of time thinking about what I’d like to do when I do have kids, and this really hit home for me–I loved what you said about what you feel is most important to teach your son. And I think you’re right; when you instill those values, like kindness, the rest will follow.
Love your blog!