I know this subject may be gross for some, but it’s about time we talk about the length of our husbands poop breaks.
See, I used to just think it was my husband. That he was the only one who would go to use the bathroom, lock himself in and disappear for an hour. But turns out, it’s an epidemic.
Many (and I mean MANY) women are joking about the time it takes our men to do their bathroom business.
We know good and well that going number two isn’t what they go in there for.
I can honestly applaud their ingenuity, though. Think about it: there’s really no other thing on the planet that I will consistently and happily honor him doing alone. You know good and well I am not going to bother you in there. I’m not going to call your name or ask you for help. In fact, I’m going to stay far far away.
So guys, the jig is up. We know.
We know you like to take your sweet time using the restroom so you can play that annoying game on your phone, scroll through Facebook, chat with your friends and contemplate the fate of the universe.
You don’t have it hide it anymore.
And by the way, yes, I know there are far worse things he could be doing with his time then resting his butt on porcelain, but that doesn’t mean I can’t give him a hard time about it. It is my right as a life long companion.
It’s equal to the hell he gives me about my excessive toilet paper usage. I understand neither habit is changing anytime soon.
But know this, it’s not getting you out of anything. If there are things you’re needed for, you can’t hide in the bathroom. I will wait for you.
I will wait as long as it takes for you to finish that round of online poker or the last five minutes of your podcast. You can run but you can’t hide.
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Liz is a just a mom trying to keep it real about how little she sleeps, how often she gets puked on and how much she loves them. You can find her here every day writing about real-mom moments.
Jane says
Hi everyone, I was worried about my husband’s activities lately, he hasn’t been himself lately. He doesn’t come home early and he yells at me. I felt so sad about it so I spoke to my best friend about it and she gave me (femalehackerz1atgeemail) to my surprise it was a lady that was in charge. She gave me access to his phone and I figured out what was going on. I can’t spill lol. I certify her. I like the fact that she’s discreet.
Laure says
This happens at our house. I don’t care if he needs a break, but it bugs me that it takes so long. I need help here. He wouldn’t do this at work. And I don’t get hour-long breaks. I don’t get breaks really ever. Do you know how many injuries and how much screaming would ensue if I spent more than two minutes in the bathroom? And do I ever get those two minutes alone? Rarely.
Ujjhhg says
He is watching “adult videos” on his phone
You are stupid says
This is stupid
Respect Each other says
Wait, does he get to postpone chores and activities when you go out with your friends and wait until you get back so you can participate in things you don’t want to do?
It’s his personal time. It may be the garage, mowing the lawn, in the bathroom, out with friends, shopping but it’s HIS time. As we all need personal time you seem to be invading his without actually doing so through a loophole.
It’s the same as if he called you out on your personal time. If you like 5 minutes to yourself before work in the car, that’s time you have to leave early and be away from things you could be helping.
Taking that time is good for everyone and making fun can be okay but once you treat him differently, especially like a ultimatum, it is no longer fun and you are attacking his personal time.
Gia says
This behavior is not normal. My husband does it. And he’s obviously doing something he shouldn’t be doing. Like probably chatting with a female friend. Or watching porn. He has a history of these kinds of things.
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