Husband, I Know What You’re Doing In The Bathroom And It’s Not Just Pooping

I know this subject may be gross for some, but it’s about time we talk about the length of our husbands poop breaks.

See, I used to just think it was my husband. That he was the only one who would go to use the bathroom, lock himself in and disappear for an hour. But turns out, it’s an epidemic.

Many (and I mean MANY) women are joking about the time it takes our men to do their bathroom business.

We know good and well that going number two isn’t what they go in there for.

I can honestly applaud their ingenuity, though. Think about it: there’s really no other thing on the planet that I will consistently and happily honor him doing alone. You know good and well I am not going to bother you in there. I’m not going to call your name or ask you for help. In fact, I’m going to stay far far away.

So guys, the jig is up. We know.

We know you like to take your sweet time using the restroom so you can play that annoying game on your phone, scroll through Facebook, chat with your friends and contemplate the fate of the universe.

You don’t have it hide it anymore.

And by the way, yes, I know there are far worse things he could be doing with his time then resting his butt on porcelain, but that doesn’t mean I can’t give him a hard time about it. It is my right as a life long companion.

It’s equal to the hell he gives me about my excessive toilet paper usage. I understand neither habit is changing anytime soon.

But know this, it’s not getting you out of anything. If there are things you’re needed for, you can’t hide in the bathroom. I will wait for you.

I will wait as long as it takes for you to finish that round of online poker or the last five minutes of your podcast. You can run but you can’t hide.

 

Are you in a place of discontent and feeling like you’ve fallen out of love with your spouse?

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