I’m just too far from where you are

Normally when I have a small possibility of being sent home I keep it to myself.  There have been bits of hope here and there and each time I get shot down and I feel depressed and sad and it takes me a few days to snap back into a rhythm.  But this time its a little bit different and the nurses and even the doctor’s are very hopeful that when I hit 31 weeks on Tuesday I’ll be out of here.  The condition is that I’m no more dilated than I am now – one centimeter.  


I’m praying for good news round the clock, maybe even every hour, and I know if I shared with you then you’d pray too.  I just so badly want her to be safe and sound and I can go home for a few weeks and relax there before she arrives.  Not only do I want it, I think I need it.  I really need some time in my own home to get somewhat readjusted to real life before I bring in another baby and I need some quality time with my husband and my son in a major way.  I imagine myself snuggled in bed with the two of them on a Saturday morning and my heart almost explodes.  I really just need them right now.

And I feel just like I’m living someone else’s life
It’s like I just stepped outside
When everything was going right
And I know just why you could not
Come along with me
‘Cause this was not your dream
But you always believed in me

Another winter day has come
And gone away
In even Paris and Rome
And I wanna go home
Let me go home

And I’m surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel all alone
Oh, let me go home
Oh, I miss you, you know