For a second I thought about foregoing this post in fear of seeming like an ungrateful woman who doesn’t appreciate the wonderful things in her life. But several people have shown interest in my perspective on being a working mom and at the end of the day, I’m not really too concerned with people calling me ungrateful.
I work a very busy HR position for a large company, eight hours, five days a week and my office is at home. I hired a sitter about a month ago to watch Brady two days a week and my FIL helps me at home the rest of the week. Had I have been forced to take my 8 week old infant to a stranger and drop him off for nine hours a day I would have wound up in a mental hospital. I wouldn’t have done it. I would have quit my job, sold everything I owned and wouldn’t have cared about the consequences really.
My whole life has changed since having him, obviously. I want his life to be perfect and to be the absolute best mother there ever was, something I feel like I just can’t be while working. I can be a great mom, and feel like I am, but for my situation, my job, my life, my perspective… I feel like I’m not the mom I want to be. And yes, I blame work.
I pretty much want my daily existence to revolve around him. I want to wake up and love on him, feed him leisurely, watch him play and not be distracted by watching the clock or listening for the sound of an email alert. I want my mind focused on him and not the constant demands of a job that I don’t like. I spend a lot of time with him, much more than the average working mom, but it’s the quality of time that I have issues with.
I have yet to meet a single mother that doesn’t want to be a stay-at-home mom and focus solely on her child. Even the mom’s that swore they would want to work, needed to work, have all changed their minds post-pregnancy. The problem is making that happen and for most of us a two-income family is very necessary. I think it is ridiculous to be forced back to work after just 12 weeks or less in many cases. I truly believe maternity benefits should last an entire year and that our jobs should be held for when we return, but that is one benefit the US doesn’t allow us.
I have yet to meet a single mother that doesn’t want to be a stay-at-home mom and focus solely on her child. Even the mom’s that swore they would want to work, needed to work, have all changed their minds post-pregnancy. The problem is making that happen and for most of us a two-income family is very necessary. I think it is ridiculous to be forced back to work after just 12 weeks or less in many cases. I truly believe maternity benefits should last an entire year and that our jobs should be held for when we return, but that is one benefit the US doesn’t allow us.
That’s why I started Elizabeth Rose. The goal is to not only be able to make money at something that I enjoy instead of the opposite, but something that can be done at my discretion and has the possibility of bringing in a better income. I would really love to know what SAHM’s out there do to offset the money they would make if they worked.
Sher Bailey has been a dedicated voice for the Love and Marriage blog for over a decade, sharing practical advice on everything from stretching a grocery budget to finding the best homeschooling resources. She writes from the unique perspective of a full-time traveler, living and working on the road in her motorhome alongside her husband and their two cats. Sher’s diverse body of work is fueled by her belief that with the right tools and a little creativity, any challenge can be turned into an opportunity for growth and adventure.
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