I’ve been struggling a bit lately with self-image. I can’t recall the last time I felt really pretty and I rarely get to a point where I look decent, presentable even.
Wah-wah-wah, you’re thinking. I know.
I feel like a total mom – a title I am incredibly proud of in all aspects except for one. I look like a new mom often does: tired, warn-down, un-bathed, stressed. I gained 40 pounds while I was pregnant and although I often felt gigantic, I also thought I looked pretty cute. Pregnant bellies are just adorable!
Luckily, between breastfeeding and being so busy I forgot to eat, I lost the bulk of the baby weight quickly. I also was crazy lucky in the stretch mark department in that I didn’t get any. But (there’s always a but isn’t there?) my teeth began quickly shifting back to their pre-braces placement. My straight smile is gone. And now? I am so embarrassed. Give me stretch marks I can cover up any day.
Beyond that there’s the saggy skin around my stomach and my boobs which I compare to helium-balloons three or four days after the party is over and they’re shriveled up on the floor.
The thing is – that second to the teeth, my biggest problem is one that I may be easily corrected with a bit of effort )and maybe a Red Bull). I would probably feel better if I forced myself to find some time to paint my nails, fix my hair and makeup daily, and put on something other than sweats and a tshirt.
I do find that the days that I spend more time on my appearance I feel better and get more done. I just don’t always have the time or the energy. Plus there is always something more important – paint my nails or sweep the floor?
Of course the baby is worth it – so worth it. But how do you deal with a brand new body and identity after having a child? How do the rest of you new mama’s feel?
Liz is a just a mom trying to keep it real about how little she sleeps, how often she gets puked on and how much she loves them. You can find her here every day writing about real-mom moments.
I feel your frumpy pains. Since I stay at home I hardly ever get dressed…showers dont come as often as they should (I could find time, but what’s the point…no one see me). Nothing fits right. And yeah..what’s up with the saggy stomach…I’d love for that to leave but don’t have the energy to work it out. A little self love would go a long way here…maybe we just need to realize we deserve to take the time to do it.
ohhhh I can totally relate!! After I had my little girl I think maternity leave about killed me.. I didn’t feel “normal” till I went back to work and had adult conversation again.. and when my daughter turned 1 i started to work out and got my confidence back.. it is rough though.. Just remember to take time for yourself every once in awhile.. and as they grow older things get much much easier!! =)
Mrs. Wedding Crasher says
You are gorgeous!
You are gorgeous! I feel your pain though. I actually lost my top retainer during our move and now my top teeth are moving all around too. It really bothers me. I also have stretch marks and a saggy stomach 🙁 I often look at my own wedding photos and think to myself, “I will never look that beautiful again.” So… I TOTALLY understand where you are coming from 🙂
Try getting up tomorrow and putting on something other than sweats and a little makeup. It will do wonders for your self-image! I hope you feel better soon!
I totally agree with you. The problem is, I am still struggling with this and my “baby” is 2 1/2. I feel I am in the process of an identity crisis. I no longer feel pretty at all and my motivation to paint my nails or put on makeup is nonexistent. Although when I do, I do feel better. I think I just need to force myself.
I see your facebook pictures and think you look way cuter than me- and you have a baby and I don’t! I feel this way sometimes when I’m putting all my effort into looking good for work, and then on evenings/weekends I feel like frump queen 🙁 Hope you find your pretty again!
Mrs. Beach Bride says
I feel your pain. My baby is just 3.5 months old and I love love love having painted nails. I wish I could go get real manicure but I would have to bring the little man along and I dont know how that would go. Not very relaxing plus the toxic fumes. One thing I do everyday or so is take a bath. I put the baby on the soft bath mat next to the tub and I do my thing. The hot water is heaven. Then I add some cooler water and bring the baby in. So I get to relax and then Sullivan gets a bath. He loves it, I love it. Its a win win in my opinion.
I cried so hard when I came home from the hospital after my first child I was only just turned 19 and before I had kids I was into cheer and gymnastics and had a killer six pack but when I looked in the mirror and seen the skin hanging I cried for days but after about a year of just being a stay at home mom I noticed it started forming back up and I used coco butter and still had a good amount of stretch marks but it will never be the same but I’m just about 30 now and I may be 30 lbs heavier and divorced but I love and feel more comfortable in my body then I ever did. You have to find happiness with in your self.