Love and Marriage

And A Baby Carriage.

Siblings

baby fever

My raging baby fever has subsided over the past month with the arrival of our nephew. I have been consumed with him and getting to “play mommy” for a while and so the urge has dwindled a bit. Now, it is back and taking no prisoners.

I have this intensified urge to get pregnant because I a) am giving Matthew back and b) I want to have two children. I am still young, 24, but I feel like if I am going to have more than one child, that it is about time we start. I’m not one of those people that wants back to back children, and I would like for the first to be completely out of diapers and sleeping in a toddler bed before I move on to numero dos. If I were having only one, the time frame would not be so strict.

My husband and I have been fairly certain that one would be enough for us. That’s all. We would take our baby and close up shop. But lately I have been feeling a small amount of sadness and emptiness in not providing my child with a sibling. Giving them something that I really didn’t have: a brother to protect and joke with; a sister to console and pick flowers with.

I have three half brothers – twins on my fathers side that are 8 years older than me and one on my mothers side that is 10 years younger than me. The age differences are huge and even had they been smaller, the majority of my life we have not lived together to be able to build that close bond. My mom and dad tried for a second child after having me, but were infertile.

I wish so much for a sibling, specifically a sister. This isn’t something that you can want or hope for and make attainable yourself. This is something that you parents and only your parents can give to you. Guy and I are the only way for them to have an opportunity to have this bond.

I watched Rachel Getting Married this weekend and I was so jealous of this made-for-tv sisterhood. They could say what they wanted to each other, curse, and just be who they were with no apologizing for it. Yet after the biggest fight they had, the older sister took the younger in her arms and let her cry. She helped her bathe, brushed her hair, and gave her a kiss.

I can’t say for certain whether I will be able to give this gift to my child or not, or even if I am able to give them a sibling, if they will become close. But I would like to try. I want for them to have someone there on Christmas Eve to listen for reindeer together, help them blow out their candles on their birthday and cry because the other one has presents and they don’t, and to sympathize and understand them when mommy and daddy just don’t.

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image via jwlphotography

By Sher

About Sher

Sher Bailey has been a dedicated voice for the Love and Marriage blog for over a decade, sharing practical advice on everything from stretching a grocery budget to finding the best homeschooling resources. She writes from the unique perspective of a full-time traveler, living and working on the road in her motorhome alongside her husband and their two cats. Sher’s diverse body of work is fueled by her belief that with the right tools and a little creativity, any challenge can be turned into an opportunity for growth and adventure.

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  1. The Polka Dotted Owl says

    I am def. there with you. If I have children, I would like them to have siblings. Even though I get soo mad at my sister and brothers, I still love them.

    We age between us as well. My sister is 40 and I am 23. What? It wasn’t until I was about 17 that we were able to really bond. Hate to admit I was sorta annoying and she was always scary to me.

    Now we are the best of friends. We have to talk to on another at least 2-3 times a week! She also gave me her impeccable taste in music, movies, and courage and I gave her a humor and care-freeness (is that a word?).

    Sorry that was soo long!!! Loved the post!

    Reply

  6. a H.I.T. says

    Husby and I have spoken about this at length. He was an only child and originally wanted 7 kids. 7 kids?!?!?! I came from a family of 4 and wanted 2-3. We’ve decided on 3.

    I won’t lie. Growing up, us 4 kids fought tooth and nail all the time, but the older we get, the closer we get. My sister is my best friend now. I trust her with all my secrets.

    If you are blessed with the ability to have more than one child, and feel called to do so, then by all means enjoy motherhood.

    Reply

  7. devin's mom says

    I do have to say that I do not believe that siblings are a “must” I have Stacey who is 10 years older than me and when I was younger it was like I was an only child anyways. Devin is an only child and doesn’t seem to mind being spoiled and having all the attention on him! (grin)

    Reply

  8. jennifer says

    sisters are so special.

    i pray that for you – two sweet little ones to giggle under the covers together after lights out!

    i had MAJOR baby fever after David and I got married. We didn’t have kiddos until we had been married 7 years… we had a little trouble getting pregnant with our first. All that waiting makes you appreciate being a mommy so much when it finally happens.

    Reply

  9. MBB Founder and Editor Denene Millner says

    Eh, I couldn’t stand my brother growing up, and he couldn’t stand me either, so don’t assume that they’ll be best friends. BUT, if they get along, it really is a wonderful world that they create together… my daughters squabble and carry on with one another, but they adore each other madly and protect each other with abandon… at the end of the day, siblings DO rock! But I’m just now learning this…

    Reply

  10. Jenn says

    I can relate – I want more than one because I come from such a small family. I want a house full of love, and for me, the more the merrier!

    Reply

  12. Shanny says

    I agree with you, siblings are needed in my home. My husband would be content with just one but I can’t have that… I loved having a brother and a sister and I want my kids to experience that too.

    Reply

  13. Cristina Barret says

    Family planning is a personal decision and each person’s circumstances and preferences may be different. If your family has young children, let them play four colors early to improve their intelligence.

    Reply