The best kept secret for calming and relaxing your kids when they are acting out is a simple hug.
Last week my daughter was throwing a fit… angry about having to go to school that day.
Fits aren’t something that happen around here much anymore. After all, they’re growing out of that phase the older they get. (Can I get a hallelujah?)
But that day she was adamant that she was. not. going. and eventually it turned into a mini meltdown.
Over the years I’ve figured out the quickest way to get those big emotions under control and that’s with a big, two-armed, love filled, bear hug.
In those moments when big emotions fill such a tiny body, they so often need a quick stress reliever and a hug does just that.
Why Hugs are Miracle Workers
According to science, hugs do some pretty awesome things:
♥ They lower your blood pressure. (source)
♥ They reduce anxiety and stress by releasing oxytocin into the body.
♥ They boost serotonin levels which balances your mood.
♥ They lower your heart rate. <– So important when a kid is panicking! (source)
Hugs are so powerful!
Think about how wonderful this is: That right within your own body you have a built in mechanism to help your child lower their blood pressure, heart rate, anxiety and stress. It’s magic!
And the kids that need that the most are the ones that are acting out the worst.
Hug those angry kids. Those defiant kids. Those “I hate you, leave me alone” kids.
When your instinct is to walk away, avoid and punish, try the opposite. Try connection. Try compassion.
Try a hug. ♥
Liz is a just a mom trying to keep it real about how little she sleeps, how often she gets puked on and how much she loves them. You can find her here every day writing about real-mom moments.
What about ur kids getting into thing that’s not there’s an u told them ago stop an showed them something else an they go back to it when you leave the room
This works 💯 My son and I went through some monumental battles when he was younger, both mental and physical, he was edging very close to uncontrollable! I reached to male family members for help (as i was a single Mum of 3 and he was the only boy in the house), but the only support or backup i received ended up being like more of a reward instead of a lesson or consequence…
Eventually after yet another epic episode I found myself almost near breaking point, I grabed my boy and just held him tight… then finally I felt him just relax and instead of being angry, violent, worked up he cried, gave it up and just hugged me back… The power of love will always out weigh that of hate
Loved this story its always nice / comforting when u get conformation that you were on the right track!! Parenting isnt easy!
Christine V says
Good reminder to this Grandma too!