In the theme of Love and Marriage I’ve decided to come up with some general topics to talk about. Today I’d like to get your opinion on this question:
Would you want to know if your spouse cheated?
I know there isn’t a single one of us that ever wants to deal with the infidelity topic but realistically there is a good chance we will have to one day, and that sucks. Cheating spouse statistics confirm that 50 and 70 percent of married men (between 38 and 53 million men) have cheated or will cheat on their wives. Don’t you just hate statistics? Uck – I despise them. It’s like predicting an awful future. You just wait, he WILL cheat on you, it says.
So if it happened (I prefer to say IF and not when) would you want to know or just continue living your life unaware? Off the bat it seems like a dumb question, I mean, duh, of course I want that information! But there is a portion of individuals out there that think the opposite; what I don’t know won’t hurt me. I’ve also heard the theory that the decision depends on the action. For instance, if it was a one time mistake that didn’t mean anything and it won’t happen again then why not just let it go and let me live my life happily. There is no reason to completely turn my world upside down and cause me an incredible amount of pain for nothing.
But to me it isn’t nothing. It’s SOMETHING. I want to be in charge of the information I know and what I do or don’t do with it. This my life and if my spouse cheated? I would absolutely want to know. That doesn’t even mean I will immediately leave (it also doesn’t mean I won’t) but it means that I will make that choice. Me. I’m in charge of my choices and no one else ever should be. For me, I feel like not knowing and being kept in the dark is incidentally someone making my decision for me and that’s the part I am not okay with.
What do you think ladies?? I’d especially love to hear what people think that have been in the situation before. Feel free to write your own blog post on the subject and link back here!
Sher Bailey is a writer in the Midwest who believes the power of humor, Mod Podge, and grandkids can fix most problems in life. You can find her at SherBailey.com.
devin's mom says
Oh it is something and I would want to know absolutely. I agree that it is “my” decision as to how I handle it. I hate the statistics because in my own little world I would like to think that something like this would never, ever happen. I’m still holding out hope that people take marriages serious.
Cristina says
I would want to know, even if it was just a kiss or something like that – it is cheating in my books. I don’t know what I would do after though, I hope I never have to find out.
Brittany and Charlie says
I really don’t know what I would want. A tough question that I guess I would have to think about before coming to a conclusion.
Kristen says
there are two types of cheating: emotional and physical. I can sadly say that I’ve been involved in both. The one that was hardest for me to handle was the emotional one, some people might find that odd but it’s the truth. With that situation I ended up feeling like a second choice but the one that he “couldn’t have” was the one that wished he was with, the one that he told I love you to and deep secrets. Either way I felt like a fool. I definitely want to know if there is any type of cheating going on. We are putting the utmost faith in our husbands, I pray that at least my husband (of course yours too) will honor the vows that we took and love/desire/be with only me….
Kaycee says
I would definitely want to know. And unfortunately after that there would not be a marriage any longer. If I cannot trust my husband then I could not be with him. I think that would be very hard, but necessary for me.
Jenna says
I would want to know, because I believe forgiveness must be sought for such an act, from both God and those harmed in the process (specifically the spouse).
Adorably Distracted... says
I would absolutely want to know. The way I look at it is if your married then you both fully devoted your lives together. It isn’t fair for one person to be faithful while the other one isn’t. If they cheat, they don’t deserve to have a relationship as strong as a marriage.
I feel like I’m a psycho because of statistics!!! ugh!
Good post!
Shanny says
Oh my God, I think my first thought is if it was a one time mistake that I don’t want to know because I will never forget it nor would I let it go. But if it was an affair, whether ongoing or not, I do want to know so that I can decide how to deal with it. Honestly? I think I would leave if I knew it EVER happened.
Legallyblondemel says
Great question. I think I would want to know, even if it was a one-off thing, but it is so difficult to say until it happens to you . . .
a H.I.T. says
I have goose bumps just thinking about it. I don’t know. I think it would depend on the circumstance.