I am becoming very close to becoming an expert on baby fever lately. You might want to know, if I want a baby so badly then why don’t I have one? There isn’t a multi-list, complicated reason why my husband and I have not procreated yet. There is a simple, one-bullet answer which is that my husband says he’s “not ready”.
Yes, it is all his fault that my longing for children is not fulfilled. Everyone point the finger at him and give him dirty looks. Maybe guilt will work?
How To Get Rid of Baby Fever
1. Stop shopping. Quit perusing Etsy, Babies-R-Us, Target Baby, Faith Baby, Marshmallow Kisses and every other website devoted to taunting you with the cuteness that is baby stuff. And whatever you do don’t buy it.
2. Stop reading mommy blogs. What is worse than looking at adorable baby accessories you can buy, is reading about all the women that actually have the stuff. You get to read the details of their lives, how much they love their babies, how funny they are, how they make the silliest face when they have gas, how they are SO GLAD THEY AREN’T YOU.
There is really only one way to get rid of baby fever and that is a big dose of pregnancy. So ladies, throw away your birth control, poke holes in your husbands condoms and have a lot. of. sex. Lots. Until you get a positive test, stay away from all of the above listed triggers. Basically, go lock yourself in your bedroom and stare at the wall.