As a mom, I naturally carry around a lot of guilt. When you are responsible for another persons life you tend to second guess yourself on a daily basis.
One thing moms in particular have a lot of guilt over, is not spending enough time with our kids. Working mothers especially can really be hard on themselves over the choice (or lack of choice) to work outside the home and not be with our kids all day, every day.
This scientific study though, may help to relieve a lot of this guilt and give moms peace of mind. Published in the Journal of Marriage and Family, this study says that the actual amount of time spent with our kids actually doesn’t matter at all.
In childhood and adolescence, the amount of maternal time did not matter for offspring behaviors, emotions, or academics…”
It explains that quality of time trumps the quantity. The sheer hours spent each day around our children doesn’t have any association with how they turn out. What does matter is having a very close and engaged relationship.
Another great point, is that in adolescents, the engaged time spent with mom is even more important and equated to few delinquent behaviors.
I think it is very clear to see that building a strong bond with our children by spending quality time with them is what is most important. Doing this by having one-on-one and quiet time alone with them that builds communication, trust, assurance and a feeling of safety is key. Have longs talks with your kids, go on electronic-free adventures, play a game, go for a walk. The simplest things can have a huge impact.
Liz is a just a mom trying to keep it real about how little she sleeps, how often she gets puked on and how much she loves them. You can find her here every day writing about real-mom moments.