So, you’ve read all the baby books and you think you’re totally prepared to be a parent. You’re right. You are as prepared as you are going to be, because let’s face it, none of us are really ready. Parenting is not something you can truly understand until you’re there. Follow your instincts and you’ll be just fine.
But in case you are wondering about what happens in between the chapters of those parenting books, here’s a little peek into real life.
Here’s What They Forgot to Put In The Baby Books
1. You will be elbowed or kicked in the boob or balls at least once a day.
2. You’ll also get headbutt a lot.
3. Toddlers hate pajamas.
4. You’re going to learn to button your pants with one hand. (It’s harder than it sounds.)
5. You’ll do a lot of really gross stuff, like smelling another human being’s butt and you won’t even think it’s weird.
6. Toddlers hate high-chairs.
7. You will become keenly aware of exactly what section of the floor squeaks and never walk there when the baby is asleep.
8. You’ll have really strong arms but a really flabby belly.
9. Toddlers hate diaper changes. Apparently, sitting in poop is a better option.
10. Your beloved pet you used to adore will suddenly annoy you in every way possible.
12. The amount time you have to yourself each day is roughly 24 minutes.
13. Toddlers hate when you give them the green cup. Didn’t you know they wanted the blue one??
14. You will feel large amounts of guilt each and every day no matter how hard you try not to. (That’s what happens when you love something so much.)
15. You’re going to waste a lot of money on things your baby doesn’t need. (But that’s OK, we all do it.)
16. Other people’s children crying will yank at your heart strings like you’ve never felt before.
17. You’re going to love kids shows. One time I recorded an episode of Austin & Ally because I didn’t want to miss it.
18. You will never simply sit on the couch alone. There will always be someone on your lap.
19. You’ll never go to the bathroom alone again, either.
20. You don’t just miss out on sleep when your kids are babies, you’ll never sleep normal again. Ever.
21. Sippy cups that say they don’t leak, will usually leak.
22. Toddlers hate when you wipe their face off.
23. Toddlers hate brushing their teeth.
24. Toddlers hate putting on shoes.
25. Toddlers hate most things. But they are totally, incredibly awesome.
Your turn! What did I forget??
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Liz is a just a mom trying to keep it real about how little she sleeps, how often she gets puked on and how much she loves them. You can find her here every day writing about real-mom moments.