No, Having A Dog Is Not Like Having A Baby

I used to be one of those annoying dog moms. Of course, at the time I had no idea how irritating I was, but after having two human children I understand.

Yes, you love your dogs… you bathe them, dress them, feed them, sign their names on Christmas cards and celebrate their birthday with gourmet cakes. You love them with all your heart and you take good care of them in a way that vaguely resembles parenthood.

But the notion that having a dog is in any way like having a baby is just shy of crazy. There are differences between the two that will smack you right in the face the minute you come home from the hospital with a screaming baby.

So if anyone says their dog is like your baby, ask them this…

Having A Dog Is Not Like Having A Baby

Have you ever put food in a bowl on the floor for your baby to eat?

Have you ever turned the TV to Animal Planet and then left your baby at home for five hours?

Have you ever put your baby outside and shut the door as punishment for bad behavior?

Have you ever put a chain around our babies neck and attached it to a long piece of fabric so you can leave the yard?

Have you ever put your baby in a cage?

Have you ever put newspaper on the floor in case your baby needs to use the bathroom?

Have you ever yelled at your baby when they asked someone for a bite of their food?

Have you ever rocked your dog to sleep after a bad dream?

Have you ever read your dog a bedtime story?

Have you ever sucked your dogs boogers with a syringe?

Have you ever taken your dog to see Santa?

Wait, don’t answer that last one.

I know how you feel, dog mom, I really do. I know how much you love your animals and I know they take a fair amount of responsibility and care-taking, but please, let’s stop comparing dogs to children.