Last week I accepted a job offer. One that has all therequirements I was looking for: great pay and benefits. But has one huge, enormous downfall: working in an office 40 hours a week. Do you know what that means? No more staying at home each and everyday with the love of my life. Wow, it’s hard to even type that. How am I going to live it? How will I possibly walk wave goodbye to him at 8am and not see him again until five? Not just once but every day.
My family needs the second income, we have always been accustomed to it, and more than the actual pay check, we need health benefits in a bad way. I applied for state insurance but I was denied. So that’s why I’ve got to do this. When I interviewed for the job I began praying consistently for God to make the choice for me. If this was the right job that I would be given an offer, if it wasn’t then I wouldn’t. I didn’t want to decide if I should take it or not because I feel like I really wasn’t able to make the choice. Please someone just do it for me.
So I let Him decide and the answer was yes, take this job. I really thought I wasn’t picked for the position after a few days of no response from the company and I was relieved. But alas they called and it is what it is. Back to work I go. Luckily Brady won’t have to go to daycare, he will stay with my mom part time and with his normal sitter the other half. Hopefully I can work out my lunch break in a way where I can come home and squeeze him.
The hard part, well, one of them, is that I just never thought I’d ever be in this position. I thought I’d never work anywhere but from home. I definitely needed help and Brady went to a sitter a few days a week but that was just so much different. I always put him down for a nap, never had to rush him around and have certainly never had to leave him when he wasn’t feeling well.
I guess my new prayer is that we both will be able to make the transisition and I make it through my first day without being a complete mess and my new employer thinking they hired a basket case.
Maybe one day I can be at home with my baby again. I’ll be spending this last full week with him soaking up as many kisses and giggles as I possibly can.