When you first start dating your spouse and you move into the next stages of living together and marriage, you can’t get enough of each other. You don’t sit on separate couches, you don’t watch separate television shows, everything is done together. You have a whole living room filled with furniture that you rarely use as the two of you sit snuggled tightly together on your over sized chaise lounge. You compromise the things you want to watch in order to not leave the same room as the other.
Then one day you’re hot. You don’t want to cuddle under the blankets anymore. You realize that suddenly you sleep better on your stomach and not in the spoon position. She hates watching football; he doesn’t like reality television. That’s when you find yourself becoming physically separated from your spouse. Something you thought was impossible. “I will never ever want to be anywhere but hand in hand with my love,” you thought.
Hearing tales of wives in bed with a book and husbands in the garage with a beer every night terrified me. I did not want to be like that. I wanted to stay connected with my husband in every way and was fearful of growing apart. We began watching movies on separate couches very quickly and it made me nervous. Why don’t we want to sit together anymore? Are we growing apart?
No. We were just uncomfortable. That was all there was to it. There was no deeper meaning, in my opinion. It was only comfortability.
I’ve found over the years that being physically separated is much different than emotionally separated. We can stay connected in life without standing side by side every moment. That is probably what makes marriage so unique and so different than other relationships; the love is so deep that it withstands the details in life.
Liz is a just a mom trying to keep it real about how little she sleeps, how often she gets puked on and how much she loves them. You can find her here every day writing about real-mom moments.
This is an amazing post… I totally was nodding my head at everything. But as long as you still find time for one another and begin and end every day with a kiss… i think youre allright… seperate tvs, does not mean seperation… xxxooo
I joke alot about the blue tape on our bed, but Husby and I like to be comfortable at all times and that doesn’t always include cuddling with the person next to us. We do plenty of other things that keep us close, even if we aren’t always physically close.
This was a very sweet and on point post. Good luck with the blogger position!
Well written, Sweetheart.
This is a great topic. I think everyone feels this way. You never want the romance to fade, but sometimes you grow into a different kind of closeness where you don’t need to be all over each other all the time.
Very good post.
The security of marriage is a wonderful thing. When you know that even if every minute isn’t spent in your spouse’s arms they will still be there for you.
My hubby and I have been married almost 10 years and have 6 kiddos. When we started having more *physical separation* like watching movies on different couches, I did try to seek the hidden underlying meaning. Ugh! That is not the right move! Lol! You are totally right – nothing was meant by it. I do find that the more I approach him with a kiss here, a hand-hold there, the more I get in return. After almost 10 years, we are the absolute best of friends and yet still *dating* at the same time!!
Good Post. But I wanna know why after some time marriages feel Physical separation.
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