I chose that title for this blog post because before I get all preachy with my childbirth views I wanted to get one thing clear. These are my tentative plans. This is what I would like to have happen. However I am fully open to and ready for changes in those plans and following the things my body and midwife tell me. Out of everything here there is really one thing for certain in my birth plan: it’s gonna hurt like hell.
I’m going to start with the choice for a midwife…
Before I got pregnant I decided I wanted an OB/GYN and for delivery hire a doula. I hadn’t spent enough time researching so I didn’t realize that using a midwife was a possibility under my insurance. It was. So after two mediocre visits where I didn’t hate the guy but definitely didn’t connect with him, I got a stomach virus. I was having trouble keeping my fever down and my OB/GYN sent me to the hospital to be admitted. I only actually spent about an hour and a half there where they sent me home with antibiotics and without IV fluids. And $100 poorer.
The ER doc told me the antibiotics were a precautionary measure as we wait on test results to show if I had a UTI (all other tests looked fine). Go home and take them, then see your OB in 48 hours. What I picked up on at this ER visit was something that I hadn’t realized until that point, which was that every medical decision whether pregnancy related or not, was going to go through my OB. The ER doc had spoke with him over the phone prior to and during my arrival, and I could not leave without my OB giving the go ahead.
So. This means that my OB a) agreed for me to take antibiotics (one the nurse described as so potent and strong that most only need to take for three days) and b) did not direct the ER to administer IV fluids. Pregnant woman in ER with constant vomiting and high fever. I’d say that equals fluids.
By the next day I was dizzy and lightheaded and feeling completely and utterly dehydrated with no way to get IV fluids but return to the ER and pay an additional $100. My OB that I was supposed to see in 48 hours was now out of town and the nurse told me to just keep taking the antibiotics which I refused unless they were needed. In the end, they were not needed.
The feeling I had that day was complete let down. I needed someone who was on my side and who had an interest in me and my baby and honestly, I felt like business to be dealt with, not a patient. I decided that day to make a switch and leave that OB. I studied around and found an amazing Women’s Center full of wonderful doctor’s and midwives.
The midwife I chose is a CNM which means Certified Nurse Midwife who has a bachelor’s in nursing and a master’s in midwifery. She works under several doctor’s that can easily step in if a medical intervention is needed (ie: c-section) and will deliver me at a hospital.
Not that a doctor can’t give me what I wanted, I’m sure there are many who can, but I felt like a female midwife would just, I don’t know, get it. I have had one appointment with my new midwife and have another in just a couple more weeks. What I loved about her was that not only did she seem very smart but I liked how she answered my questions. I had a very generic one which really wasn’t so much a question as it was just needing some confirmation. I wanted to know how I knew everything was ok from day to day. I get a little anxious and wonder, “how do I even know this baby is still alive in there?” And I was concerned with all of the little cramps and pains and pulls here and there. She explained all of them were natural and certain ones she had distinctive reasons behind this pain and that. I was told unless I was heavily bleeding or doubling over in pain, there is likely nothing to worry about.
When I left there I felt better and really that’s what I wanted from someone was to feel connected. I also wanted someone who would be on my side when it came to natural childbirth and all of the medical interventions I plan to refuse at the hospital… but that is tomorrow’s topic!
Liz is a just a mom trying to keep it real about how little she sleeps, how often she gets puked on and how much she loves them. You can find her here every day writing about real-mom moments.
Laura @ Cameron Crazy says
Good for you! I lucked out and had four amazing doctors for Cameron’s pregnancy. They were awesome and I would do anything to be able to still go and see them. Unfortunately, they are not covered by my new insurance.
Lucy Marie says
Great post. I think it’s so important to know what you want/believe about the idea of childbirth and find care givers who are able to meet those needs. I’m glad you have found a midwife that you are happy with.
S. says
Good for you! We have an OB this first time around and we have had a similar experience. It was rather late in my pregnancy and it was not worth it to change provides. However, I know we will def go with a midwife next time around.
Julie the Army Wife says
You will love having a midwife! I had a CNM with my first and wished I could have done that the second time.
Heather says
I def want a Doula when I get pregnant, I am a huge fan of them!!
Garrett and Meagan says
yay for mid-wifery!!!
Lindsay says
I am so sorry that you had such a bad experience in the first place. It’s sad that there are so many providers out there that just treat you like a number. I have had a midwife a couple of times and I think they are great. You want to feel comforable with someone who answers your questions and spends time with you, not someone who is in a hurry to move on to the next patient. You have to be your biggest advocator. Make sure your wishes are known and make sure you feel comfortable with the decision. Good luck and I hope the rest of your pregnancy is great! Keep preparing for the big day.
devin's mom says
Glad you found someone that makes you comfortable.
bekapaige says
Yay for midwives and women’s centers- glad to hear that you’ve made a choice that will suit your needs and care for precious baby!
Design it Chic says
Good for you! I’m glad you found what was comfortable for you! I’m worrying about the same issues for when i’l be pregnant.. i have a few more time tough.. until then .. exams it is:(
Happy FRIDAY and here’s my Aloha today if you have time:)
a H.I.T. says
Fortunately, I love my practice, but it sounds like you’ve had a really tough experience. I’m happy you were able to find a midwife 🙂
sasha says
outstanding blog
here is a blog about women heath pregnancy vaginal dryness and
tubal reversal
http://www.mybabydoc.com/blog/